"Pet Peeves"

            In August of 2011, I decided to generate a list of the top ten behaviors that irk me—just because. It AMAZES me that not a single pet peeve has changed all of these years later!  I haven’t ordered my list in any way. I wonder, though, if any of you also share the same irritants. Feel free to add to my list with your comments!

I hate it when people:

 
greet me like I’m a long lost relative with effusive hugs when  I know it’s all for show

 

agree to be at a certain place at a certain time, show up late (or not at all) and then act annoyed because I’m upset 


swear (usually in front of other people) that they’ll gladly help, and then cancel when it’s too late for me to line up someone else 

preface their criticisms with, “It’s nothing personal, but . . .” and then blast me with a long list of very personal things they’d like me to change

 

dump their problems on me and never offer a reciprocal dumping of my woes 

expect me to be a good person at all times (loving, generous, thoughtful, forgiving) while they can treat me with nastiness 

deny me my right to speak my views because I’m too different from them; yet want me to listen without rebuttal to their diatribes   

preach to the choir (a favorite in educational circles). If you have a problem with something someone says/does, speak privately and directly to that person 

brag about their lives in an effort to exclude me from it 

know what is right; yet choose to do wrong 

2011 Me!

Copyright 2011 Elizabeth Abrams Chapman

"Liar"

 

Full eye contact with head tilted “just so”

The words he speaks ring false and hollow

He moves his hand smoothly down her arm

Tries to blind her with his deceitful charm

His veneer appears glossy and smooth

He’s a trickster who distorts the truth

Through a phony wink and cocked eyebrows

He seduces with his empty vows

He manipulates her emotions

By conjuring deceptive notions

He craves her devotion on a whim

As her passion means nothing to him

He’s a con artist, a promoter

He’s barren inside—a pretender.

Copyright 2019 Elizabeth Abrams Chapman

"Everyone Lies"

She kneels before an all forgiving God   

            a supplicant asking for mercy   

            “Bless us, O Lord, for I have sinned”     

                        sighs through her parted lips       

                                    A conniving bitch   

                                                manipulating   

                                                            to get ahead   

                                                                        to break even   

                                                                                  to fall in love   

            Her hair veils her face   

                        light and shadow finger her expression    

                                    hollow out her downcast eyes   

                                    highlight the planes of her pale cheekbones   

She prays for redemption and the strength to change   

            for God’s hand to guide her onto another path   

                        But people don’t change   

            Her disease seeps into her joints like lupus    

                        spreads through her organs   

                                    invades every cell   

                                                infects her life and world   

            So the tears shed before her Lord   

David Chapman-artist

                        water and nourish nothing   

            Her vows of commitment to convert   

                        remain unheard   

                                    by her God   

For she’s forgotten her Golden Rule—  

                                    Everyone lies  

Copyright 2014 Elizabeth Abrams Chapman

 

                                                  

"You're Not What I Want"

You strut into my life, mirrors for your eyes.   

Bragging on your style and worth, all to cover lies.   

          You demand worship, attention thrown your way.   

          Staging life’s events, you’re an actor in a play.   

                    You’re not what I want, so I’m stepping away.   

                     You’re not what I want, so I’m leaving you today.

  

You take and take cruelly, all that I can give. 

  

Draining all my love from me, just so you can live.   

          You see no one else, feed only your dark needs.   

          Ignoring all the hearts you break with your selfish deeds.   
                     You're not what I want, so I'm stepping away.   
                     You're not what I want, so I'm leaving you today.   

You expect to hold the world’s blind devotion. 

  

Feigning love and care, your spirit lacks emotion.   

          You think I should thankfully kneel at your feet.   

          Allowing the abusive cycle to repeat.   

                     You’re not what I want, so I’m stepping away.   

                     You’re not what I want, so I’m leaving you today.   

Copyright 2011 Elizabeth Abrams Chapman

"Liar"

Full eye contact with head tilted “just so”

The words he speaks ring false and hollow

He moves his hand smoothly down her arm

Tries to blind her with his deceitful charm

His veneer appears glossy and smooth

He’s a trickster who distorts the truth

Through a phony wink and cocked eyebrows

He seduces with his empty vows

He manipulates her emotions

By conjuring deceptive notions

He craves her devotion on a whim

As her passion means nothing to him

He’s a con artist, a promoter

He’s barren inside—a pretender.

Copyright 2019 Elizabeth Abrams Chapman

“No Shame”

See this world  
            Revolving around you   
            ‘Cause you’re sooooo SPECIAL?   
                        A Disney Princess   
                                    Twisted on the inside    
                                    By your Hypocrisy 
            Your venomous spittle sprays 
                        And you shout your righteous indignation
                               Against those who sustain you, clothe you,      
                                     nurture you  
You—The Beggar—   
            Who bites up to the elbow   
                        Your ravenous maw congealed with  
                                    the flesh of the hands that feed you  

You carry No Shame  

                        For badgering, and belittling, and bullying  
                 No Shame   
                        For the lives you taint with your poison 
                 No Shame  
                        For the pain you reap  
            ‘Cause you’re sooooo SPECIAL— 
With this world  
            Revolving around you  

 

Copyright 2015 Elizabeth Abrams Chapman

 

"Golden Son"

Told from the moment of your birth, you’re the Golden Son   

Praised for petty acts and deeds, you’re mother’s Special One   

Worshipped within your family, you learn bold conceit   

Playing games you can’t win, you begin to cheat   

Your skill in charming others often leads to sly lies   

Forcing others to view you through your mama’s eyes   

Cocky and self-centered, you use people in your life   

Manipulating others helps you avoid strife   

Adultery entices you, it’s part of your game   

Interchangeable parts—all women are the same   

Unhappiness follows your steps, even when you run   

You can’t help the hearts you break, you’re the Golden Son   

Copyright 2011 Elizabeth Abrams Chapman

 

"Everyone Lies"

She kneels before an all forgiving God   

            a supplicant asking for mercy   

            “Bless us, O Lord, for I have sinned”     

                        sighs through her parted lips       

                                    A conniving bitch   

                                                manipulating   

                                                            to get ahead   

                                                                        to break even   

                                                                                  to fall in love   

            Her hair veils her face   

                        light and shadow finger her expression    

                                    hollow out her downcast eyes   

                                    highlight the planes of her pale cheekbones   

She prays for redemption and the strength to change   

            for God’s hand to guide her onto another path   

                        But people don’t change   

            Her disease seeps into her joints like lupus    

                        spreads through her organs   

                                    invades every cell   

                                                infects her life and world   

            So the tears shed before her Lord   

                        water and nourish nothing   

            Her vows of commitment to convert   

                        remain unheard   

                                    by her God   

For she’s forgotten her Golden Rule—  

                                    Everyone lies   

 

Copyright 2014 Elizabeth Abrams Chapman

 

                                                  

"Favoritism"

The Smothers Brothers: Mom Always Liked You Best!

“Mom always liked you best”       

a long ago line from a Smothers Brothers’ routine        

comedy-a joke       

a Band-Aid covering       

deep wounds       

One       

loved without effort       

gifted with endless attention       

a mama’s boy       

walking on water       

parting the Red Sea       

with his shallowness       

selfishness       

manipulations       

One       

overlooked and forgotten       

faceless in the familial crowd       

a lost son       

never perfect enough       

always longing       

humble       

a pure soul       

Adoration and Neglect       

doled out in equal dollops       

so much showered on one       

nothing remained for the other        

Copyright 2012 Elizabeth Abrams Chapman

“Righteous Anger”

because you yell the loudest   

TYPE IN ALL CAPS    

divide and pontificate with provocation  

you lay claim to justification    

you demean those who disagree    

through a false sense of superiority    

you lash out with vindictiveness    

choosing to injure and belittle    

you suck others into your fallacies    

with endless word manipulations    

you deride and insult    

to defend your flawed and mistaken reasoning    

you rationalize your anger and hatred    

by looking at everyone    

but yourself    

you are mean    

you are cruel    

you love no one    

this is your failure    

your loss    

your inability that wounds    

your harshness that kills    

your unhappiness that warps and destroys    

so scream out your      

righteous anger    

louder, louder, louder    

until you become hoarse    

until fatigue forces you to pause    

until you must be silent    

then listen to the echoes of your loneliness    

Copyright 2012 Elizabeth Abrams Chapman

 

“The Third Time”

Some evenings, they sit together, the television set’s glow casting shadows over their faces. The dim light hiding the emptiness in their marriage. Peter sips his second rum and Coke of the night, appreciating the warmth that spreads through him, taking the icy edge from Gwen’s constant criticism. Slowly, his muscles relax into his favorite recliner, and the petty vexations of his work fade away. He glances at his newest wife and winces at the realization that he can’t remember why he married her. Third time’s a winner? He downs the last half of his drink and studies the empty glass, pondering the wisdom of another drink.

         In his youth, his lust caught him up and landed him in an unexpected marriage to a girl far inferior to him or his needs. His sense of duty toward Patty and their children lasted only as long as she idolized him. Once Patty pulled him from the pedestal, once she demanded that he treat her as an equal, once she began nagging him and expecting to have a say in his decisions, he stopped pretending he cared. He managed to have several affairs without his young wife suspecting a thing. He even propositioned her sister on several occasions, certain that his in-law would never tell his wife. After all, Patty had no choice but to tolerate him. She had no education and no skills. She was nothing without him.

Eventually, pretending that he cared became too much work. When Peter fell to his lowest point, his second wife entered the picture. Leslie’s desperation to capture and hold onto him became addictive. She praised his every word and deed; she oozed adoration from every pore. She loved the excitement of an affair:  secret meetings, weekends secluded in hotels, private dinners in out of the way restaurants. Unlike his stay-at-home wife, his mistress earned a living and showered him with expensive gifts. He’d slip off the Rolex every evening, tucking it safely into his car’s glove compartment, and replace it with the cheap Seiko from his fifth anniversary. His cockiness made him suggest to Patty a wonderful plan. He’d come home few times a week to see the kids, spend all holidays with both their families, and pay all of the bills. In exchange, she would look the other way on his absences the other nights. His wife should understand that his happiness outweighed her own needs.

Peter began cheating on his Leslie, his second wife, within the first year. The thrill of their affair, he realized too late, summarized his attraction to her. Since he’d allowed others to pressure him into this second marriage, he began searching for a way out. Leslie accommodated him much better than his first wife. She ignored his affairs as long as he paid off her charge cards each month. Her face lift added a temporary spice to their life, and her liposuction made her seem younger for a while. Their drinking increased as the years flowed by, and the lavish praise and fawning of his second wife ceased altogether. Her complaints and unhappiness aged her, made her ugly.

Peter rationalized his affairs by believing that he deserved someone better. He desired a woman who complimented his looks and personality, not a vampire who sucked away his youth. The dance of flirtation drew Peter into and out of liaisons with careless abandon. He enjoyed the fact that he escaped these relationships before the women demanded more from him than he was capable of giving. He disdained Leslie’s cloying nature, but stayed with her. Divorce cost too much, and he had no reason to disrupt his life for his casual affairs.

         Then Gwen entered his life, all glitz and glamor. The lifestyle she lived, because of her wealth, enticed him to break from Leslie. He knew he could absorb the cost of a second divorce, even losing his home, by moving in with Gwen. Although Gwen appeared confident to others, he sensed her fear of growing older alone. His razor sharp intuition culled out her insecurities. He played the role of adoring lover expertly and charmed Gwen and her tight circle of friends. Always a player, he instinctively knew just what to say and do to secure a spot in Gwen’s life. An expert at manipulation, he’d played the long suffering husband and father role. He painted himself into a financial corner, knowing Gwen’s generosity would guarantee him a place in her home. Their wedding, a private affair without the showmanship he craved, began his dissatisfaction with his third wife.

         Now, less than a year later, Peter craves escape again. The pretenses he used to gain Gwen’s love and trust are too difficult for him to maintain. Unlike his other wives, Gwen’s acid tongue and spitefulness worries him. Knowing his past, she keeps tight control over his movements and his money. He senses that she’s no longer charmed by his humor, no longer deceived by his blatant flattery, no longer fooled by his ploys or lies.

Suddenly, the desire for his third drink of the evening overrides his need to avoid Gwen’s caustic comments. He abandons the comfort of his chair, fills his tumbler with rum, topping the drink off with a dab of Coke. He feels her disapproving eyes spear his back, so he raises his drink in salute to her irritation.

  Copyright 2011 Elizabeth Abrams Chapman