"Wants VS Needs"

         I’ve read some pretty mean comments on social media recently. Insulting words lashing out, sometimes with no obvious reason for the inflammatory temper tantrums. Suddenly, a conversational steam turns ugly. I sit dumbfounded as I read through cruel, malicious responses from people I thought to be reasonable—and nice.

         Most of the time, I try to understand both sides of the issue. If I weigh in (many times I bite my tongue and keep away from my keyboard), I attempt to find factual support for the issue at hand. Sometimes I balance myself onto a middle ground. Occasionally, I respond with well thought out deliberation. Fortunately, I have a blog wherein I can pull together longer reflections.

         In my dream-state last night, I mulled through this-n-that in an effort to distill recent events into some kind of cohesive theory that applies to a bigger picture, and I tossed-n-turned myself into a dichotomy of wants versus needs.

         Many people state belief systems as though they are needs. They need to follow their religious doctrines.  They need to spank their children—and everyone else’s, too. They need to defund programs like education and welfare. They need to take care of their own—even if that means making decisions that harm others. They need to own guns. They need to stop abortion. They need to segregate themselves way from minorities. They need to prepare for Armageddon.

          Whenever these people speak out, they truly feel that these things are essential requirements for their safety and happiness—for their duty to family, or church, or country. Their insistence that things are needs lends a level of urgency and unreasonable panic to their daily lives. When they feel that these needs are threatened, they respond with illogical anger and boiling hostility. They view their world as always threatened by someone else encroaching upon or diminishing their basic needs and rights. It must be rough living with so much distress and disharmony.

         I wish I could wave a magic wand over these people and shift their mindset to the fact that all of these things are wants, and not needs, because the urgency and fear shifts dramatically with this worldview.

Copyright 2018 Elizabeth Abrams Chapman

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"Defense Mechanisms"

David Chapman-artist

Defend and Protect at all costs    
bury unpleasant thoughts and feelings under, down, below    
refuse to accept reality    
deny, deny, deny    
change existence and rewrite your life    
fabricate your lies until they morph into your new reality    
regress or act out    
childishly punch the wall of your frustration    
disconnect from your follies    
forget, forget, forget    
place each dissonant thought into a strongbox    
locked away even from yourself    
project your pettiness and bitterness onto the wholesome    
react in opposition with your infantile impulses    
blockade your imperfections behind fantasy    
beat your spouse, kick the dog—never harm yourself    
Defend and Protect at all costs   

 
Copyright 2011 Elizabeth Abrams Chapman

"Golden Son"

  

Told from the moment of your birth, you're the Golden Son

Praised for petty acts and deeds, you’re mother’s Special One   

Worshipped within your family, you learn bold conceit   

Playing games you can’t win, you begin to cheat   

Your skill in charming others often leads to sly lies   

Forcing others to view you through your mama’s eyes   

Cocky and self-centered, you use people in your life   

Manipulating others helps you avoid strife   

Adultery entices you, it’s part of your game   

Interchangeable parts—all women are the same   

Unhappiness follows your steps, even when you run   

You can’t help the hearts you break, you’re the Golden Son   

Copyright 2011 Elizabeth Abrams Chapman

 

"Golden Son"

Told from the moment of your birth, you’re the Golden Son   

Praised for petty acts and deeds, you’re mother’s Special One   

Worshipped within your family, you learn bold conceit   

Playing games you can’t win, you begin to cheat   

Your skill in charming others often leads to sly lies   

Forcing others to view you through your mama’s eyes   

Cocky and self-centered, you use people in your life   

Manipulating others helps you avoid strife   

Adultery entices you, it’s part of your game   

Interchangeable parts—all women are the same   

Unhappiness follows your steps, even when you run   

You can’t help the hearts you break, you’re the Golden Son   

Copyright 2011 Elizabeth Abrams Chapman

 

"Golden Son"

Told from the moment of your birth, you’re the Golden Son   

Praised for petty acts and deeds, you’re mother’s Special One   

Worshipped within your family, you learn bold conceit   

Playing games you can’t win, you begin to cheat   

Your skill in charming others often leads to sly lies   

Forcing others to view you through your mama’s eyes   

Cocky and self-centered, you use people in your life   

    Manipulating others helps you avoid strife

Adultery entices you, it’s part of your game   

Interchangeable parts—all women are the same  

Unhappiness follows your steps, even when you run     

You can’t help the hearts you break, you’re the Golden Son   

Copyright 2011 Elizabeth Abrams Chapman

All of us know a "Golden Son" either through personal or professional relationships.