"I Worry"

            Over the years, I’ve learned to channel my tendency to fret about every little nuance of life into major areas. It’s a sanity strategy that allows me to let the less important things “go” while satisfying my personal psychological need to control whatever I can. This Five Point Focus means I spend my energy on the bigger needs and wants for myself and my family. I thought I’d share these with my readers.

Money: 
            How much debt is too much?
            Should I work extra to get ahead?
            When will I feel financially safe?
Time:
            Am I spending enough time doing what I want?
            Will I make time to travel?
            Will I run out of time to accomplish my Want To list?
Health:
            Will I continue to be creative?
            Will my energy stay stable as I age?
            Will I remain accident/illness free?
Family:
            Are my siblings healthy, happy, and secure?
            Will my husband and son continue with their creative ambitions?
            Can we stay focused on the end goal for as many years as it 

            takes?

Right choices:
            Will the decision to stay in our neighborhood continue to be

             a good one?

            Will the new shift toward self-employment earn enough?
            Can I change the path I’m on as I get even older?  

Copyright 2019 Elizabeth Abrams Chapman  

           

"There's a Pill for That"

headache or heartache; weight up or down

fungus or fever; face in frown

helpless or tired; skin with a red rash

anxious or cold; a nighttime hot flash

grab a cure-all; or rub a lotion

pop an antidote; or down potion

drink elixir; or chew sweet tablets

suck a lozenge; or swallow pellets

foolish and stupid; minds closed to truth

shallow and stubborn; creeds blight our youth

righteous and pure; their justice is small

cruel and petty; their views destroy all

grab a cure-all; or rub a lotion

pop an antidote; or down potion

drink elixir; or chew sweet tablets

suck a lozenge; or swallow pellets

Copyright 2019 Elizabeth Abrams Chapman

"Missing Mom and Dad"

            If you’ve lost your parents, you understand the total randomness of grief shifting from background to foreground. At unexpected times, I long for my parents’ humor, support, and unquestioning love. I wonder what advice they would give, what insight they’d have when I struggle with some miniscule ripple, or get pulled down and under by a catastrophic tidal wave of living.

            Next month, my husband and I celebrate our 40^th anniversary. I imagine my parents’ funny card arriving in the mail box. I open the envelope to an added, handwritten note (sometimes Mom’s precise script, other times Dad’s bold scrawl), and find a check. The amount of money never mattered. It truly was the thought that counted.

            The tightness in my chest, the inability to inhale deeply under the weight of old grief, constricts me. For some reason, this year I hunger for another card in the mail. I ache to recognize the handwriting on an envelope. I feel loneliness and loss. 

Copyright 2019 Elizabeth Abrams Chapman

    

"Indulged or Spoiled?"

A coin flip—

            Indulged

                        with

                                    nourishment

                                                attention

                                                            opportunity

                                                                        freedom

OR

            Spoiled

                        by

                                    coddling

                                                yielding

                                                            pandering

                                                                        capitulating

            Indulged

                        with

                                    comfort

                                                ease

                                                            safety

                                                                        certainty

OR

            Spoiled

                        by

                                    luxury

                                                indifference

                                                            idleness

                                                                        privilege

Copyright 2019 Elizabeth Abrams Chapman

                                                                       

“Brainstorming List”

            Several years ago, my well of topic ideas dried up. Practically overnight, I found myself floundering for something—anything—to write about. In desperation, I sent out an impassioned plea to my friends and family on Facebook to PM me suggestions for possible blog posts. The more people responded, the more inspired I grew. I grabbed a new spiral notebook and listed topic after topic. Whenever I find myself thirsty for something different, I turn to this list.

            Every time I buy a new spiral for my drafting and crafting, I devote the first page to that brainstorming list. Most of the time, life presents me with plenty of material. Occasionally, I peruse the list, select one item, write about the subject, and cross it off my list.

            This week my substituting work landed me with classes that need a “warm body” in the room. The students, attached to Chromebooks, ask me for a bathroom pass and leave me to my own devices. Out of boredom, I tugged out my trusty spiral the other day and skimmed my list for inspiration. “Dirty Clothes” caught my eye. The next thing I knew, I crafted a fun poem for my blog. Since I’ve been on the same campus with a similar job all week, I’ve returned to my list daily. I’ve entertained myself by writing on ten different topics using a combination of poetry and personal narratives.

             I feel accomplished and satisfied each time I scratch words off the list.

            In the very back of my mind, a little nagging worry chirps, “What if you use the all?”

            I smile. I’ll do like I did so many years ago and ask friends and family to help me with a brainstorming list!

Copyright 2019 Elizabeth Abrams Chapman