Showing posts with label son. Show all posts
Showing posts with label son. Show all posts

Tuesday, August 20, 2024

"Koi"

 







            For years my son, Paul, searched for a white Pomeranian because he wanted the contrast of a white haired dog with his own dark hair. I’m not certain what drew us into our local pet shop, but about eighteen months ago, we entered the store. I headed over to the puppies and kittens while Paul lingered around the snakes. When I saw two white puppies, labeled as Pomeranian, playing in their pen, I knew Paul’s quest had ended. One of the puppies had more cream within his coat, but the other was almost entirely white. Paul cradled that puppy in his arms, trying to decide if he should bring the puppy home. Not wanting to make an impulse buy, Paul reluctantly returned the pup to the store clerk. It didn’t take him long, though, to return to the store and nestle the dog within his arms again. We bought all the new puppy items we needed: brush, bed, ceramic bowls (with skull decorations), food, shampoo, and toys. The white fluff became a member of our family.


            After a few dips in the pond out back, someone suggested the name Koi for the puppy. Suddenly, we would all go Koi fishing as we dangled toys and ropes before the puppy to tempt him. Within days, Koi attached himself to Bridget. The older dog tolerated Koi’s too hard snips on her legs and ears. She allowed him to follow her through her daily routine and made room for him at the foot of our bed.


            All of our pets have distinctive personalities. Rambunctious describes Koi perfectly. Our laid-back cat, Sassy, still keeps her distance from Koi’s tumble and tackle play. Padme, our other cat, has a commanding aura. I’ve seen her bat Koi aside even though he outweighs her by quite a few pounds. Bridget, at first, indulged the high energy of the puppy. Like any momma dog, she let him nip and swipe at her tail. Some evenings, she’d recline on her pillows on the couch and give me this bewildered look, and I suspected she wondered when the puppy would go home. Eventually, she pulled him into the unusual pack that we call family.


            Koi communicates through “talking” in sharp yips. An intelligent puppy, he noted easily where we kept the Milk Bones we used for training. When first going through training, he’d run to the tin and jump against the cabinet demanding his reward for performing the desired behavior: sit, come, leave it. During the day, he’ll yip a few times if he wants a treat, jump against the counter, and yip again. Both dogs love chewing on rawhide sticks, which I decided to store in the bottom drawer of the kitchen desk. Paul showed Koi the stash one day, and the puppy learned to open the drawer within minutes. Fortunately, he’s never made off with the stash. He’ll bark at the open drawer until one of us comes and hands him the stick.

            Kio mastered the art of flirtation early in his puppyhood. He’ll tilt his head left, then right and give his fluffy tail a little twirl in order to get his way. If you ask him, “Are you my friend?” he’ll give you a head bump and lick your cheek, looking very dashing and coy. When my mother moved in with us last fall, Paul rented a house in our neighborhood. The house had a “No Pets” clause, so Koi still lives here with us. We’re glad that we get to continue enjoying his charming energy.










Koi--2024!






Copyright 2011 Elizabeth Abrams Chapman

Thursday, May 30, 2024

“Rekindling a Love”

 
San Antonio Zoo 1981


            We moved from College Station, Texas to San Antonio in December of 1979, without jobs and on an extremely tight budget. Our finances allowed few luxuries during those first years as an old Honda Civic needed constant repairs, and I still had school loans to repay. We purchased bikes that provided many hours of entertainment. We found a few parks and preserves that offered escapes, all free, from our small apartment. Our favorite splurge, though, became a day at the San Antonio Zoo.



1985


            Eventually, parenthood meant even more frequent trips that included train rides and sky rides.  The zoo provided rides on elephants and camels during the 1980s as well as a petting zoo that our son grew to love dearly. Our traditions over the years included photographs with the lion sculpture. If family or friends came along, they struck poses, too.


1988





            Life took us along different paths that led us away from trips to the zoo as we spent weekends at the family cabin and discovered our love of Renaissance Fairs. Music lessons, art classes along with more demanding careers and aging parents shifted the zoo into an extremely fond memory.



            Then in December 2023, my son started wanting to visit this treasured place once again.  For our 45th anniversary gift, we decided to purchase new zoo memberships as we found ourselves falling in love once more with all of the changes entwined with our special traditions.

1990












1990

2023



Copyright 2024 Elizabeth Abrams Chapman

Saturday, March 4, 2023

"Bill Miller"

 

         During the early years of my marriage, going out to eat happened every three or four months when my parents came to town for a visit. Now, my parents insisted that they came to San Antonio to see us, but they always made a run to the commissary for non-perishable groceries, and they always came back to our house with an entire Bill Miller Family Meal Deal. That meant tender brisket or juicy sausage coupled with potato salad and tart vinegar coleslaw. We piled our plates high with their special pickle and onion mixture, pinto beans, and warm brown bread. The sweetest tea on earth comes from this restaurant, and my parents would bring it home in buckets. One lemon meringue pie added to the tradition.
         After my father died, Mom moved to San Antonio. She shifted from wanting Bill Miller’s once every few months to wanting it every week. She started a new tradition. On Sundays she would come over to our house to use our washer and dryer and insisted on providing our meal for the day. Occasionally, she’d yearn for an Arby’s sandwich, but most of the time she wanted her brisket and slaw.
         Today, Paul wanted a break from his music studio and suggested making a Bill Miller’s run. Mom can no longer eat the sausage and brisket. She’s shifted to their chop—a delightful mixture of meat and bar-be-q sauce that’s absolutely perfect for her chewing and swallowing capabilities. We discovered that adding it to a baked potato makes it even more filling for her. Our tradition shifts, as it should, to embrace the new realities of our family life.
   


Copyright 2011 Elizabeth Abrams Chapman


Thursday, May 2, 2019

"Side Hustle"





            My son works tirelessly to establish his own business that branches out into a multitude of directions. His illustration skills lead him into work ranging from art for educational publications to logo designs to website art. His fine-tuned audio engineering talent means he rocks the house with original beats. He spends days behind the camera taking still photographs or shooting music videos for up-and-coming performers. As a youth, he made extra money selling his original t-shirt art to friends from school. This passion reignited recently, and he spent days researching companies to find the best one to meet his needs for printing and shipping original designs.
            When he approached me a month ago with an idea for my own t-shirt line, I instantly liked the creative outlet that combined playing with words and photography. Before I knew it, and with tons of help and guidance from my son, I started my own line.
            I won’t make a million dollars from this endeavor, but I will possibly have additional income that can let me splurge on a few monthly extras.
This “side hustle” opens me up for a totally new challenge, which I want to do as I get older. I know that keeping a sharp, inventive mind doesn’t happen by inactivity. With this t-shirt task, I will grab my camera more often. Instead of being a slug-a-bug in bed on Saturday mornings, I may head out the door on a photo-shoot at a location that’s totally new to me. I already find myself looking at words and phrases that would appeal to my intended market—women who love comfortable t-shirts, but want something a little nicer than a comic book character or “Best Mom Ever” slogan.


Copyright 2019 Elizabeth Abrams Chapman
              



Tuesday, April 23, 2019

"I Worry"



            Over the years, I’ve learned to channel my tendency to fret about every little nuance of life into major areas. It’s a sanity strategy that allows me to let the less important things “go” while satisfying my personal psychological need to control whatever I can. This Five Point Focus means I spend my energy on the bigger needs and wants for myself and my family. I thought I’d share these with my readers.

Money: 
            How much debt is too much?
            Should I work extra to get ahead?
            When will I feel financially safe?
Time:
            Am I spending enough time doing what I want?
            Will I make time to travel?
            Will I run out of time to accomplish my Want To list?
Health:
            Will I continue to be creative?
            Will my energy stay stable as I age?
            Will I remain accident/illness free?
Family:
            Are my siblings healthy, happy, and secure?
            Will my husband and son continue with their creative ambitions?
            Can we stay focused on the end goal for as many years as it 
            takes?
Right choices:
            Will the decision to stay in our neighborhood continue to be
             a good one?
            Will the new shift toward self-employment earn enough?
            Can I change the path I’m on as I get even older?  

Copyright 2019 Elizabeth Abrams Chapman  

           


Thursday, January 19, 2012

“A Thousand Sleepless Nights”

    http://daniellefreelances.wordpress.com/2009/02/15/being-the-single-mother/   

In the dark of night,   
she rocks and hums   
her hand rubbing circles upon her baby’s back   
he hiccoughs   
tucks his small feet against her warmth   
slips into slumber   
she rocks and hums until dawn   
In the dark of night,   
she paces and frets   
her lips pressed to his forehead   
measuring his heat   
as he cries, “Mommy, make it better!”   
she stretches out next to him   
wrapping him in her love   
as she wills away his pain   
In the dark of night,   
she listens and waits   
her body tense and alert   
until the clicking of key in lock   
the signal that he’s safe   
his voice floats on moonlight, “I’m home”   
In the dark of night,   
she sits and cries   
as he unburdens his fears   
her arms ache to hold him, rock him again   
she longs to take away his pain, shelter him from harm   
In the dark of night,   
she rocks and weeps   
her hand rubbing circles over her heartbreak   
her fingers long to stroke his hair, touch his cheek   
her kiss longs to linger on his brow just one more time   
her despair flows   
endless and evermore   

Copyright 2012 Elizabeth Abrams Chapman 

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

“Running on Empty”

         My son voices his worry that David and I will sap our energy too much in caring for my mother. He knows about the middle of the night aid to take Mom to and from the bathroom, realizes she wakes up at the crack of dawn; he understands her need of someone being constantly within calling distance. When he expresses his concern, I remind him we spend a huge portion of each evening enjoying our own interests. We spend time together watching something mindless on television while munching popcorn.
         But I do worry about those days when I’m snapping at everyone and everything because that’s an indication that I’m feeling neglected or overwhelmed. When my siblings come to give us a break, we try to sleep late and head out of the house to our favorite places like browsing through the shops in Gruene, Texas. If my brother or sister arrives early on a Friday, we sometimes escape to the cabin in the hill country. That perfect retreat always offers the respite we need. If we don’t get a long break, we find ourselves overtired.
         I love the advice everyone gives about David and I needing to take care of ourselves and get adequate breaks. What people don’t realize is that unless someone volunteers to come over to sit for an evening, we can’t take off for a stroll through a mall or an evening movie. We count ourselves fortunate that our son lives in the neighborhood. He spends an incredible amount of time “hanging” with Grammy. If I have a doctor’s appointment, I know he’ll come over. I don’t like to overuse my son, though. Is this a normal response? I don’t know. I fear the months in the future when Mom’s needs will increase, when my need for breaks won’t fall into the “occasional” category. I think on some level, I don’t want to misuse my son’s offers for help now because I may need him more in the future.
         As we enter the second year of caregiving, we’ve reached our stride. This morning, I ran Mom’s bath while David started his pre-work routine. He stepped in to help Mom into the tub. While I stayed with her as she soaked in her bubbles and listened to her new Susan Doyle cd, David packed his lunch. Then he returned to help lever Mom out of the tub, dashing from the room to get dressed while I toweled Mom dry, applied lotion to her skin, and dressed her. Entering the family room, we found David already munching on his morning cereal.
         Our lives have a steady routine that flows most days in surprising harmony. Those days where I can’t do anything right for Mom sprinkle throughout the month. Those moments when she drives me crazy because she doesn’t want anything I’ve cooked happen infrequently. Those nights where we get up two or three times with her occur no more than once or twice a week. So, for now we’re holding our own.
         And when I find that we’re “running on empty” I think we’ll fall into music, or books, or hobbies to recharge ourselves.     


Camera in hand!





Copyright 2011 Elizabeth Abrams Chapman          

Monday, October 10, 2011

“Recharging Batteries”



         This morning, as I plugged my cell phone into an outlet, I found myself wishing that I could recharge my batteries as easily. Today’s Monday, and fatigue rolled out of bed with me this morning. Often people counsel me, “take care of yourself” while I take care of my mother, but it’s a difficult task to accomplish. No matter how tired I feel, I still have to tend to my mother’s needs. I rely heavily upon David to help in the mornings (he often gets up after only four or five hours of sleep when she will no longer sleep). Once 8 o’clock arrives, though, I’m on my own until David returns at 6 PM.
         Weekend visits from my siblings help dramatically, but they fly by too quickly to really get much of a break. Both my brother and my sister usually arrive on Friday evenings and leave early Sunday mornings. That only gives us Saturday. Often, we use that free day to accomplish errands that David and I need to do together. Sometimes we pick up Paul and enjoy a nice evening meal at a favorite restaurant. But almost always we spend part of that “day off” still in our home helping with something Mom needs.
         I dream of spending an entire weekend in bed, reading a paperback novel grabbed from the grocery store checkout counter. I snooze whenever I want for as long as I want. When I finally get out of bed, it’s to light scented candles and take a bubble bath without getting dragged out by someone else’s needs and wants. I get to spend as much time as I want swinging in my tree, and I don’t run any errands, cook any meals, make any beds, or deal with anyone’s demands.
         For now, my batteries never get fully recharged. Some days, like today, I start at 40%. I am fortunate because I haven’t dipped into the dangerously drained levels yet because of the aid from my husband. I worry, though, that his batteries need recharging, too. My son, brother, and sister all help frequently and cheerfully, but the block of time they can stay limits my ability to get fully revitalized. Eventually, we’ll need a vacation where we can really plug in and recharge.   

 Copyright 2011 Elizabeth Abrams Chapman