A few days ago, we ambled into a “remember when” conversation after our
son commented that he’s never met a woman from his generation who embraces a
view that the partnership of marriage can start from nothing and work slowly
forward over many years. The women he knows want a partner established in
career with a steady income, vehicles that run, and the promise of eventually
becoming “stay at home mothers” instead of remaining in the work force. So different
from my own beliefs.
Our first apartment,
in Bryan, Texas, had orange shag carpet. For the first four months of marriage,
we sat on the floor, eating off of a large paper box. A friend had given us the
foam mattress from a hide-a-bed to use as a bed. Our clothing, folded into neat
piles, rested directly on the floor. We didn’t even have a laundry basket at
first, and the few wire hangers we had held heavier items like our coats and
jackets. The television set, black and white, didn’t have working horizontal
hold. It rotated the single channel we tuned through rabbit ears. A wicker
chair with matching stool and a white pole lamp, pieces I purchased while in high
school, finished the furniture we owned. David entered marriage with one small
old suitcase, one paper bag of clothing, his guitar (a gift from a friend), his
bass, and cabinet with amplifier. My uncle had given us a partial set of
American Airlines silverware. Our pots and pans, mix-matched, barely filled our
cooking needs. That was okay. We barely had food for groceries. Those months,
before our first paychecks arrived, were our pinto bean days.
Around September, one
of David’s aunts loaned us an old mattress and table. We picked up a couple of
folding chair, which graduated us to fine dining! We pooled our wedding gift
cash to buy unpainted wood chests. Finally, our clothing had a home. The foam
pad shifted to the living room for a “couch”.
Those sparse first
months gave us the ability to do sacrifice for later goals. My college loans
got payed off at a double rate. Once we moved from College Station to San Antonio,
we kept our budget strict. Together, we roamed through department and furniture
stores to select the furniture that fit a style we both loved.
For us, part of the
success of our long marriage started in those first months of struggle. It gave
us a foundation for working together for long-term goals.
Copyright 2023 Elizabeth Abrams Chapman
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
