"Echoes"

 

            I can’t pinpoint any specific reason why my last blog post occurred five months ago. Having spare time, the usual culprit for not writing, definitely doesn’t enter the picture. Since March, like so many people worldwide, I’ve hunkered down to stay safe and stay well. My Spring Break extended first by a week and then a month until finally word came out that schools wouldn’t reopen at all. For the first time in my adult life, I didn’t have obligations to an employer nor responsibilities as a caregiver. With this unexpected luxury of abundant time and no accountability, my days should have shifted to my passions—writing and photography. Yet I pursued neither.

         I spent my days searching out scientific information on COVID-19 while keeping a hawk’s view on data as it shifted through the world. My admiration for this infection grew with each scientific paper I read as it’s a wondrous virus that has a high infection rate, keeps asymptomatic with many people, and leaves a huge segment of the population with a mild enough illness that they can proclaim, “It’s no big deal!” This virus’s controlled by keeping distance from other people, keeping hands clean, and wearing masks. All very simple things to do to curb its spread unless it becomes politicized as has happened in the US.

            Each day, I do a personal mental well check. Anxiety? None. Depression? None. Worry? Certainly a tad each time my husband’s company did a round of layoffs (the last set will occur next week). Have I fretted over my brother’s status as “essential worker” as he’s employed at a hospital? Of course. Are these ripples enough to account of my inability face the blank page and share our experiences as we move onto this unexpected path? I don’t think so. Nothing we experience right now compares to the challenging years of care-giving we did with Mom.

            And maybe that’s why I don’t feel the need to share this journey. Mom’s illness compelled me to write every day as though that tethered me to the world around me. I needed to share the loneliness and burdens with friends and family in the intimate way my blog allowed.

            Although these months test my resilience, they are only an echo of the life as a long term caregiver.

Copyright 2020 Elizabeth Abrams Chapman

Staying Safe and Well