Not everyone should reproduce.
There! I’ve said it!
Somehow our religions and culture
make having children a priority to such a degree that both sexes falsely
believe that reproducing is their right instead of a privilege.
I spend many hours
frustrated by the arcane attitude that a person’s value to society stems from
the number of offspring popped out during the reproductive years. No one cares
about the emotional maturity of the parents. How is it logical to encourage an
immature teen (one who wasn’t educated well enough NOT to get pregnant) to have
and raise a child? I don’t know how many times my students would complain that
they shouldered the responsibility of younger siblings because Mom had a date.
Imagine young children not getting to go trick-or-treat on Halloween because
Mama has a party she needs to attend instead! The instability of extremely
young parents means they subject their children to frequent moves—from the
grandparents, to a new boyfriend/girlfriend’s place, back to grandparents, over
to the non-custodial parent—in and out of homes, apartments, cars . . . But
hey! Parenthood gives them praise by society, family and friends. Once the
“newness” of an infant or toddler runs dry, these young parents often decide to
have another child. Their reasons range from “not wanting too many years
between siblings” to “I think this new
relationship will last if we have a baby together” to “I’m such a good mom/dad!
See! I have kids to prove it!
Religions love the theme of being
fruitful and multiplying, and yet no one seems too concerned about the
financial responsibilities parents shoulder when they decide to reproduce. Some
people chant, “God will take care of it all,” and then their children don’t
have enough food, medical care, or security.
I’ve often heard people say stupid things like, “If we waited to have
kids until our finances were in order, we’d never have had kids.” My point exactly. Financial security
makes a huge difference in the welfare of each child brought into the world. I
don’t mean someone needs to have a high income to have children, but forming a
family means more than just providing a lifetime investment for food, clothing,
shelter, and education. It calls for parents to become secondary to the needs
and wants of their children. It requires love and acceptance. It means
nurturing the spirit and dignity of another human being—forever.
Frankly, if you can’t do that, you
should never have children. Our society and churches should support individuals
and couples who are attuned to their inner core and know that parenting isn’t
for them and give them praise and support instead of criticism and ostracism.
Copyright 2019 Elizabeth Abrams Chapman
