"Reproduction Rant"

         Not everyone should reproduce.

         There! I’ve said it!

        Somehow our religions and culture make having children a priority to such a degree that both sexes falsely believe that reproducing is their right instead of a privilege.

        I spend many hours frustrated by the arcane attitude that a person’s value to society stems from the number of offspring popped out during the reproductive years. No one cares about the emotional maturity of the parents. How is it logical to encourage an immature teen (one who wasn’t educated well enough NOT to get pregnant) to have and raise a child? I don’t know how many times my students would complain that they shouldered the responsibility of younger siblings because Mom had a date. Imagine young children not getting to go trick-or-treat on Halloween because Mama has a party she needs to attend instead! The instability of extremely young parents means they subject their children to frequent moves—from the grandparents, to a new boyfriend/girlfriend’s place, back to grandparents, over to the non-custodial parent—in and out of homes, apartments, cars . . . But hey! Parenthood gives them praise by society, family and friends. Once the “newness” of an infant or toddler runs dry, these young parents often decide to have another child. Their reasons range from “not wanting too many years between siblings” to “I think this new relationship will last if we have a baby together” to “I’m such a good mom/dad! See! I have kids to prove it!

          Religions love the theme of being fruitful and multiplying, and yet no one seems too concerned about the financial responsibilities parents shoulder when they decide to reproduce. Some people chant, “God will take care of it all,” and then their children don’t have enough food, medical care, or security.  I’ve often heard people say stupid things like, “If we waited to have kids until our finances were in order, we’d never have had kids.” My point exactly. Financial security makes a huge difference in the welfare of each child brought into the world. I don’t mean someone needs to have a high income to have children, but forming a family means more than just providing a lifetime investment for food, clothing, shelter, and education. It calls for parents to become secondary to the needs and wants of their children. It requires love and acceptance. It means nurturing the spirit and dignity of another human being—forever.

          Frankly, if you can’t do that, you should never have children. Our society and churches should support individuals and couples who are attuned to their inner core and know that parenting isn’t for them and give them praise and support instead of criticism and ostracism.

Copyright 2019 Elizabeth Abrams Chapman