"Forgiveness"

  

 I wanted to blanket you in gentle warmth,  

            swaddle  you, protect you  

Never dreaming that you suffocated  

            under the weight of my attention  

I longed for you to mirror my heart  

            —mimic my words  

            —morph into my Mini-Me  

And I snipped away your identity  

And shaped you into a paper doll  

            that no one else can love  

When convenient—  

I mended your heartbreaks  

And fought your monsters  

I also shared our intimacies  

            —in gossip  

            stripping you to bare bones  

My love— 

            So wrong in intensity—  

whipped between over-indulgence and neglect  

On and off  

And on again  

            Leaving you heartless  

Copyright 2015 Elizabeth Abrams Chapman

 

 

 

"Daddy's Girl"

Tears welled in his eyes   

a confident smirk masked his disappointment   

A girl—a girl   

His finger slid down the curve of her soft cheek   

then he stepped back   

building physical distance   

No clone    

No son to show off at company parties and family reunions   

“Do you want to hold her?”   

No!   

His eyes darted to his wife, his mother   

relief settled his shoulders as he realized his screamed denial was in his head   

“I think she has my hair,” his young wife crooned   

“I think she has my eyes.”  

His hand rubbed the stubble on his chin   

fatigue punched his gut   

Pretending sapped his energy   

made him dry and brittle   

Empty   

A fox outwitted by the trap, he stood motionless   

fought the instinct to chew off his leg   

Instead, he boxed his panic   

nailed down the lid   

let days blend into months and years   

He encouraged his daughter’s adoration   

while he ignored her needs   

avoided her love   

silenced her angry tears by walking away   

He minimized her   

made her peripheral   

on the edges of his consciousness   

an orbiting object not worthy of his attention   

A girl—a girl   

Copyright 2012 Elizabeth Abrams Chapman