Showing posts with label eating problems. Show all posts
Showing posts with label eating problems. Show all posts

Tuesday, February 28, 2023

"Mom's Meals"

 














“The Incredible, Edible Egg!” sang through my head this morning as I poached some eggs for Mom’s breakfast. Every morning, I ask her what she’d like to eat: scrambled eggs, fried eggs, hard boiled eggs, poached eggs, French toast, or pancakes. Nine time out of ten, she’ll request eggs in one of its variations.
         Today, as I prepared her meal, I realized we rely upon eggs so much because I can fix them so quickly. When Mom’s hungry, she wants food immediately. Pancakes yesterday turned into a farce as she continually asked, “Where’s my breakfast? David said he was fixing me pancakes. Where are my pancakes?” I explained he was beating the batter and teased that I didn’t think she’d want to soup out her pancakes with a spoon. She laughed, but her impatience bubbles to the surface more frequently now than in the past. When she queried once again on the status of her pancakes, David stepped into the family room, bowl and mixing spoon in hand, to show her the state of her meal. She laughed.
         With Huntington’s disease, chewing and swallowing become compromised, so finding the “right” foods sometimes proves difficult.  Most of the time, we don’t rely upon pureeing dishes because I cook meals that I know Mom can eat—right now. Things could change quickly. When she moved in last year, she could eat anything I cooked. Within a few months, we began cutting meats into smaller and smaller pieces. I’ve shifted her meals to ground beef, ground sausages, or ground turkey as an easier alternative to running meats through the food processor. Often, I’ll bake a roast until the meat falls apart in moist splendor. We’ve discovered the dark meat of chicken (leg and thigh meat) is easier for Mom to chew and swallow than the white selections. I never thought food would become such a focus in our home. In order to accommodate her changing needs, I rely upon making huge batches of the foods she can easily eat, freezing portions for her so I can pull them out and zap them in the microwave when hunger hits her.  
Last night, I prepared a can of chunky beef and vegetable soup. It’s been a while since I’ve opened a can of Campbell’s since I’ve been making most of our soups lately. It never occurred to me that the chunks in the soup would prove too big for Mom to eat! I ended up pulling the vegetables and meat out, chopping all of it into fine pieces, and mushing it with a fork to blend back into the broth. I will change my stash of “emergency” canned soups from the chunky choices to ones like split pea. These little adjustments occur all the time with Mom’s diet. We’ll discover something she ate effortlessly a few months ago now gives her a little trouble.
         I try to keep Mom’s calorie count high, but that’s getting harder. She spends an entire afternoon sipping one soda where last year she’d drink both juice and soda during the same time frame. She starts her day with a chocolate supplement that she drinks along with breakfast, but often she leaves some behind. She loves milkshakes and ice cream, so I offer one or the other each day. Fatigue factors into her calorie count. Mom can still feed herself, but anything not eaten within fifteen minutes won’t get eaten. She’ll shove aside the bowl and say she’s finished. It doesn’t mean she’s full. It means she’s eaten all she has the energy to eat. Her leftovers get scooped into a small tub for her to finish later in the day. Within two hours, she’ll ask for something else to eat. Sometimes she’ll crave something sweet. She can eat the soft cookies many companies market, or she’ll ask for a piece of chocolate, or the small bite sized brownies our HEB bakes. And she never refuses the offer of a banana.

Copyright 2012 Elizabeth Abrams Chapman

          



"Grammy Sitting"

 

Edna Abrams May 2011

            Care-giving quickly becomes a shared family responsibility. It didn’t take me long to realize I’d rely upon my husband, David, to survive each day. As Mom’s Huntington’s Disease progresses, she can do less and less for herself. Imagine sitting on your living room couch, unable to even move yourself into a wheelchair. The limited mobility Mom had at Christmas time, to transfer on her own from couch to wheelchair, wheelchair to another room, and from there to the bed, ebbed away by this spring. As her weakness increases, so does her anxiety at being left alone in a room. Her body’s refusal to move at command means she needs assistance in almost everything. She can still feed herself, but her food must be pureed because the muscles she uses for chewing and swallowing are compromised. She can still lift her lidded cup up and sip out of a straw, she can still brush her teeth, and she can still enjoy her nightly bowls of ice cream. Huntington’s Disease robs Mom of her ability to communicate. We try to phrase our questions with “yes” or “no” responses, or we offer short phrases to her that she can repeat with her choice. “Would you like music or quiet?” Repeating the key words again, “Music? Quiet?” We learn to give long enough wait time for her to form the answer she wants. Mom’s very lucid. She recalled effortlessly that I’d left a bottle of Visine in a drawer in her sitting room coffee table back in November. She knows and remembers people, places and events. However, to function within her limitations, she obsessively maintains structure and routine to her day. The clock doesn’t guide this routine, but the sequence must be obsessively maintained.


Edna and Charles Abrams 


          Mom’s day begins as early as four in the morning. Some days I get up with her, many days David takes her to the restroom, wheels her in to watch television in her sitting room or our family room. She’ll stay up for only a little while, anywhere from ten minutes to half-an-hour. Then she’ll ring her bell and ask to go back to bed. Once there, (if we’re lucky) she’ll snooze for another hour. If she’s restless, we’ll hear her spinning in her bed until she rings her bell again. By 5:30, she’s up for the day. Over the last month, David’s takes over in the mornings. He’ll give Mom her medications, fix her breakfast, bathe and dress her all before he leaves for work at eight. Then my ten hour shift begins. During the first months, I had more freedom to do things like water the yard or read a book, but now Mom wants me pretty much in the same room with her most of the day. I write in fits and spurts—a sentence here, a paragraph there, scribbled lines or ideas in a spiral notebook. It’s a good thing I type at lightning speed! Mom’s day starts to unwind around 5 o’clock. She’ll do a similar pattern as she does in the morning where she’ll rest for half an hour, get up for an hour, go back down until finally she’s settled for the evening. David often takes over with this up and down round to give me a break.


Edna Abrams and Paula Browning
Jan. 2011

            Our other break comes from my son, Paul. When he rented a house in the neighborhood, I thought I’d only call on him in emergencies. However, by midweek I’m often short tempered and needing to escape the house, even if it’s just to do errands like grocery shopping. Paul takes over on those days. We’ve gotten into the habit of calling it “Grammy sitting.” Paul’s high energy and ability to entertain my mother mean she looks forward to his visits. He brings her news and commentary. His humor and patience provide Mom with the break she needs from me, too. Paul’s weekly relief service is supplemented by monthly visits from my brother and sister. They’ve alternated weekends, so that provides two weekends each month that we get to sleep a little late! I cannot predict how long our lives will revolve around care-giving, but I do know that it would be impossible to face without our family pulling together. 


Copyright 2011 Elizabeth Abrams Chapman