Showing posts with label borderline personality disorder. Show all posts
Showing posts with label borderline personality disorder. Show all posts

Wednesday, March 15, 2023

You're Not the Boss of Me"

David Chapman-artist

 


eyes flashing
heart pounding
little foot stamping firmly on the ground
a whirlwind
a furious tornado destroying her small world
fingers gripping and yanking
popping and catapulting the doll’s head
clutching the decapitated body to her chest
a ruined toy
bottom lip quivering
eyes brimming and overflowing
words sobbing
“You aren’t the boss of me!”
a bundle of frustration against boundaries
two-year-old temper tantrums
expected and accepted
at twenty-one
a ruined life
pouting lips twist with disdain
defiant words ring with desperation
a demand of attention and love
from a soul contemptuous of compassion
from a heart spoiled and rotting

 Copyright 2011 Elizabeth Abrams Chapman

Saturday, January 8, 2022

“It Takes a Village"



            Texas summers drag long and hot by August, with hurricanes brewing in the Gulf, eyes stayed glued to the coastline. With family living in League City and Bay City, as well as parts of Houston itself, we all pay attention to every tropical depression that tracks into the area. Often, the storms swing towards Louisiana. Sometimes they veer more south. Occasionally, the Houston area gets pounded with winds and rain that results in devastating flooding. My family members switch off on responses to hurricanes. Some years, they evacuate to San Antonio while the next storm they ride out at home.

            After the February freeze and its devastation, all eyes followed every weather event that neared the coastline. Frankly, no one could emotionally handle another hit to any family members. My sister weathered surgery to her vocal cords that left her unable to speak for weeks on end. My brother, with his house finally complete, dealt with his ancient washer deciding to die. Being in another city, I feel helpless when troubles knock on my siblings’ doors. It turned out that I could select new appliances for my brother, purchased them at my local Home Depot, and arranged long distance, for them to be delivered.

            August’s heat smacked other friends and family members with mental health issues. No easy fix of pulling out a credit card and sending a new item to their homes. I had no repair kit for the friend whose drug use had escalated to her having difficulty differentiating between reality and her hallucinating haze. Although I encouraged her to continue with her therapy, and to be honest with her drug usage to her doctor, I left after visits feeling depleted and defeated. I witnessed another woman’s battle with Borderline Personality Disorder deteriorate with every phone conversation, email and text. My mantra with her also became, “Keep in therapy. Keep in therapy.”  I want to help these friends, but their “villages” need to include professionals to help them heal.

            Our backyard refuged me through the boiling August days. Each day started with hose in hand to slay the heat. As I watered each plant or bush, I’d run through the troubles of various village members: surgeries, appliances mishaps, anxiety, depression, loss of hope and loneliness. I realized that I cannot fix every problem, but I can be part of the village to offer support and love.




Copyright Elizabeth Abrams Chpaman 2022

 

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

"You're Not the Boss of Me!"

eyes flashing   
heart pounding   
little foot stamping firmly on the ground   
a whirlwind    
a furious tornado destroying her small world   
fingers gripping and yanking   
popping and catapulting the doll’s head   
clutching the decapitated body to her chest   
a ruined toy   
bottom lip quivering   
eyes brimming and overflowing   
words sobbing   
“You aren’t the boss of me!”   
a bundle of frustration against boundaries   
two-year-old temper tantrums   
expected and accepted   
at twenty-one   
a ruined life   
pouting lips twist with disdain   
defiant words ring with desperation   
a demand of attention and love   
from a soul contemptuous of compassion   
from a heart spoiled and rotting   


Copyright 2011 Elizabeth Abrams Chapman