Showing posts with label accidents. Show all posts
Showing posts with label accidents. Show all posts

Wednesday, January 8, 2025

"Sirens in the Distance"

 
            Before this morning’s freezing daybreak, emergency sirens sounded in the distance. Sympathy seeped into my waking thoughts. With all of the construction surrounding our home, that wail signals an accident on the highway. Someone’s day sucks before sunrise. The single scream lasts only seconds as a second and third join in with discordant harmony.
            My imagination transports me to the scene where crumpled cars with unpaid balances block the road. The incessant red and white of flashing ambulance lights dance in the soft morning light. Police honoring their code to protect and serve hover nearby. Fire trucks stand alert. The injured drivers and passengers, attached to monitors, get loaded and zip away.
           
            What tragedy awaits these people? Vehicles demolished beyond repair. One trip to an emergency room, even with insurance, costs too much. An accident caused by one second of inattention in a high construction area, and every person impacted faces financial disaster. I don’t allow myself to envision death within the destruction.
 
            I don’t attend to the returning siren songs as my morning routine pushed away their lament. Only now, with my mug of hot tea and keyboard before me, do I wonder and worry about the sorrows of these strangers.


Daylight and still dangerous!


 
Copyright 2025 Elizabeth Abrams Chapman

Tuesday, October 8, 2024

"Life's Bloopers"

         Different people respond to stress in different ways. I hurt myself. I turn into this blundering, woebegone Charlie Chaplin who bumps and bumbles through the day. I fall up the stairs, tumble out of chairs, or ram into pieces of furniture. I spend a great deal of time looking at my bruised body and mumbling, “Where did that come from?” I don’t know why I have this response to stress, but it’s dogged me as long as I can remember.
         I can spend an afternoon showing off various scars that testify to the clumsiness that plagues my life when my mind spins with preoccupation. Anything that generates heat becomes my enemy. When calm, I can iron without worry, but the moment tension enters into the room, the iron finds a way to fall against my arm, or I manage to “press” one of my fingers. A little strain in my life means I must avoid the curling iron unless I want to display my warrior markings.
         About a month ago, I strained my left arm. The day-in-day-out repositioning of Mom tugged at my shoulder muscles and irritated my elbow joint. I’ve taken care to rest whenever possible, iced down the sore muscles, and resorted to Tylenol (or wine) whenever the discomfort peaked into the pain zone. My care paid off, too. Each day I’ve ached less and enjoyed more movement.
 
         Pulling myself off the injured list proved extremely short-lived. Yesterday, hands submerged in warm sudsy bubbles, I absentmindedly washed dishes. My attention drifted to gazing outside the window instead of paying attention to my task. I sensed David leaving something on the counter, but didn’t pull from my wanderings enough to register the fact that he’d set a pan, hot from the stove, into the pile. Needless to say, I will soon have another scar to brag about.


Copyright 2012 Elizabeth Abrams Chapman

          

Thursday, May 2, 2013

“Fender Bender”

 

            I slowly crawled my car down the row of cars, creeping at a mere two miles per hour because Spring Break traffic crowded the parking lot. Carefully, I eyed the stop-and-go movement of the vehicles in front of me, not paying any attention at all to the parked cars to my left.
            The unexpected “thump” and accompanying sway of the station wagon took me totally by surprise.
            “What the—,” I shot the car into park and looked at my son.
            “We’ve been hit!” He pointed out my window, and I turned my head in time to see a minivan’s bumper smashed into the doors of my car. The minivan shifted back into its parking slot.
            With haste, I opened my door and stood in dismay looking at the damage done. A huge dent started by the back passenger side door and ended on the driver’s side door—the exact size of the minivan’s back bumper.
            A glance at the occupants in the other car revealed two children peaking over the back seat, a flustered mother emerging from the passenger side, and a bewildered father moving quickly to examine the my car doors.
            “I’m sorry,” he apologized quickly. “I don’t know how I didn’t see you behind me.”
            I thought sarcastically, “Because you didn’t look!” But I said, “I was going pretty slowly. I don’t know how you could have missed seeing me coming,”
            We did the usually exchange of information—our names, phone numbers, driver’s licenses, and insurance companies. Paul reminded me to take pictures, and all of us whipped out our phones to document the damage.
            When I got home, I called my agent with the news that the old Ford Taurus station wagon (the last car my parents purchased), had suffered minor damage in a small accident. It broke my heart to know that their car received an "injury" while in my care. Although I've driven the station wagon for the last three years, I still think of it as my parents' car. Anyway, I gave my agent the details and let her handle calling the other company. Within an hour, I received the case number. Before the end of the day, the other company’s agent had called, suggested a place to take the car for an estimate, and even scheduled an appointment for me. I ended the day thinking that this little mishap with the car would only cause a mild ripple to the rest of my vacation.

            Little did I know.

            I almost decided not to take the car in for the repair. I mean, you had to really look to see the dents in the doors, and the slight scraping of the paint wouldn’t bother me. Then I decided that if I ever want to sell the car, the damaged doors, no matter how slight, would result in less trade-in value.  Also, it wasn’t my dollar paying for the repairs since the accident wasn’t my fault.  I decided to get the car fixed using our usual paint and body shop once I had the estimate.
The first hiccup occurred when David and I took the car in for the estimate. The “little dents” in both doors tallied quickly into over $900.00 in repairs. I felt relief that someone else’s insurance company would pick up the tab. The company had a few stipulations, though. If I took the car into my usual repair shop, the insurance would only cover five days of car rental. The adjustor explained that sometimes older cars had other things break during repairs that could extend the timeline. If I scheduled an appointment with their recommended garage, they would cover my car rental as many days as necessary. I decided to go with the business that the insurance company suggested, and hoped to leave my car with them that day. However, they couldn’t schedule me for repairs until the next Wednesday.
On the Monday before my appointment, I received a call from the insurance agent. Could I postpone taking my car in until the following Monday? The paint and body shop estimated four or five days for the repairs because of the paint, and if I took the car in on a Wednesday, it would mean I’d have a rental car more than five days. I didn’t see any harm in waiting a few more days as long as they could schedule a new appointment for after work.
The following Monday, I zipped across town to the repair shop. Once I pulled into the parking lot, I remembered that I would need my proof of insurance for the rental company. I took out my new wallet and withdrew the insurance form. A glance at the date spun me into instant anxiety. When I had changed to my new billfold, I’d accidentally put the expired form into the slot and thrown away the new one! I quickly opened the glove compartment since we usually leave the extra forms in the cars, but dismay hit me when I realized that the other new form still sat on the countertop in the kitchen.
When I arrived at Enterprise, about a million customers stood in line while only two employees handled the paperwork and the phone. I sat with my fingers crossed as I watched one worker grab insurance forms and driver’s licenses, slap them onto the copy machine, and not even look at anything before handing everything back.
Of course, right when my turn came up, a second employee stepped up to handle my paperwork. She got flustered, though, when she could find no record of my name on the computer. She called the insurance company and spoke to someone about the error. While she was waiting for an answer, the other clerk stepped up and said he’d take over. He asked me if she’d copied my stuff. I told him she hadn’t and handed him the insurance form all folded up with my license on top. He didn’t even look at them as he made his copies.
I drove straight home in the little red Hyundai and immediately put the correct insurance form into my wallet. At that point, I hoped to drive the rental only until the end of the week.
However, one little thing after another went wrong. First, the shop called to say they didn’t get to my car during the first two days. Then they called to say that one of the doors had to be replaced, and they were in the process of tracking down another door. After the fifth day, they called to say they’d installed the door, but wouldn’t get around to painting anything for another two days. After ten days, I finally received the call to pick up my car.
A close inspection at the shop made me smile because the car looked as good as before the accident. Because of the glitches, the repair bill pushed over $1, 600.00. I definitely felt relieved that I had decided on the fixes. With light heart, I drove home and parked the car in front of the house with no plans of using it over the weekend.
The first morning I used the car, I couldn’t get the driver’s side door to unlock without several tries. Then the next morning it would only open with the key. By the third day, I found myself crawling from the passenger side of the car into the driver’s seat because the locks wouldn’t release at all.


The repair shop told me to bring the car in at my convenience, and they would put me at the front of the line. It still meant another trip to the airport area, another long waiting room visit, another irritation to my day.

All minor blips, though.

I’ve come to realize over the last few years that little “fender benders” may disrupt my routine or annoy me, but my perspective has changed over how to handle these small bumps and bruises. All of the small stuff that used to infuriate me now appears insignificant to me.   

Copyright 2013 Elizabeth Abrams Chapman

Thursday, November 1, 2012

"The Shit Kit"




          As Mom's ability to speak fades more and more, I have to keep aware of her basic needs. Every half hour, I offer her something to drink. Within a two hour period, I'll ply her with a small meal or snack to make certain she keeps her calorie count as high as possible. Reading about Huntington's Disease and its later stages prepared me for this stage. However,  no one wants to talk about other aspects of caregiving. In a way, the secrecy leads the caregiver to feeling inept and incapable of coping with changes that occur within the daily routine. Intellectually, I rationalized that I could help my mother with her toiletry needs. For the past two years, one of us helps her onto the toilet. Eventually, we began helping her wipe herself clean.  This didn't seem that bad, and so I told myself that changing her Depends wouldn't differ from all the diapers I changed as a parent. No one told me, though,  that a "loaded" adult diaper contains--well, a ton of crap.
  Because Mom often cannot speak, communicating to us that she needs to go to the restroom becomes almost impossible. If I keep alert, I'll  notice an acceleration in her movements and begin our version of One-Hundred Questions. 
"Mom, are you thirsty? Would you like a cola?"
She looks away as a way of answering in the negative.
"Are you hungry? Would you like a banana?"
No eye contact again.
"Do you need to use the bathroom?"
She'll grab my hand or reach for her wheel chair, which we shift to the side of the couch now because she obsessively struggles to get into and out of it if we leave it too close to her. 
With haste, I'll bear-hug Mom to transport her to the chair and make a mad dash to the bathroom. We reach our destination with plenty of time to spare. Usually.
In recent weeks, Mom's had accidents because I've left the room to cook a meal or tend to the laundry. She cannot call out to let me know that she desperately needs to use the restroom. I try to check on her frequently, but unfortunately I've had a couple of times where I haven't figured out what she needs in time.
Several days ago, Mom stretched out in her bed to listen to music. I sat at my computer, taking advantage of a break from routine. The baby monitor sits on my desk, but now I don't hear the incessant "ping" of her service bell, nor the repeated calling out, "Liz, Liz, Liz" or even the more fervent, "God damn!" that used to carry across the air. Now, Mom taps on her bed rail. 
"Do you need anything? Would you like to get up?" I now ask when I hear the taps. Many times Mom responds, "Quit it!" And I leave.
A few days ago, I checked on her several times, each time retuning to my room because Mom shook her head or signaled in some way that she didn't want anything. While folding a load of clothes, I noticed a change in the frequency of her tapping. Entering the room, I realized immediately that Mom had soiled herself, her bedspread and sheets, her nightgown--everything. Since she'd has smaller accidents, I keep a roll of trash bags under her bathroom sink and a pile of white washcloths that can withstand bleach dousing and multiple runs through hot water washes. I also keep disposable plastic gloves in one of the vanity drawers. 
These supplies, though, didn't come near to handling this situation. I managed to clean, pull stuff aside, clean more, set aside and clean again until I felt I could transfer Mom into her wheel chair. I swung her into the bathroom, and together we got her onto her shower bench in the tub. I quickly warmed the water and began scrubbing her. 
Then Mom fell.
One second she sat on her bench, and the next she did a forward roll into the tub. I slowed the momentum of her fall by grabbing one arm, but she tumbled and bumped her head on the side.
Panic flooded through me as I called for my son to come help. He assessed the situation and suggested that I get into the tub to check Mom 's neck. She stayed still, her eyes open in wide surprise. I started checking her quickly and realized that she hadn't broken anything. We debated calling 911, and but Mom managed an adamant, "No!" when she heard us discussing that option. So I held her head and neck steady while my son lifted Mom from the tub. He took her to her wheel chair where we covered her with towels so she wouldn't get chilled. I began a thorough examination of Mom while asking, again, if I should call 911 or take her to the ER. She clearly stated this time, "No!"
Mom had no lumps on her head, no sign of bruising anywhere. I think when I grabbed her, I slowed down her fall enough that she sort of thudded to a stop. I got her dressed and we took her into the family room where she wanted to sip some of her soda. While my son sat with her, I called the doctor's office and left a message. Mom's nurse had a scheduled visit in a couple of hours, so I knew someone would give her a thorough examination. We knew to keep her up and to watch for signs of a concussion, but since she was laughing about my panic, we figured her bounce in the tub scared me more than it hurt her.




As a result of this experience, I know that attempting a shower to clean my mother if she has another bowel accident isn't an option. However, I also know I have to clean her up properly if she has a similar experience. The next day, I headed to Target to prepare a kit that I've slid under Mom's bed where it's in easy reach. Inside this tub, I've placed disposable plastic gloves, wipes, paper towels, and plastic garbage sacks. It contains more wash clothes and disposable bed pads. Next to the tub I keep two wash tubs--one to fill with warm sudsy water and one for soiled washcloths. I have everything I need within easy reach to thoroughly clean my mother when the next accident occurs--because we know it will.  We've dubbed it, "The Shit Kit."

Copyright 2012 Elizabeth Abrams Chapman

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

“Crunching Numbers”
















All the monthly numbers line up as pretty as can be.   

Adding and subtracting, calculating effortlessly.   
  Projecting into the future, making a studied plan.   
  Predicting misadventures—like when the shit hits the fan.   
  The broken pipe that floods the house, and then the leaking roof   
  join up with the shredded tire, and united stand in proof   
  that budgets act as guidelines, and can’t always be obeyed.   
  The surprising ups and downs of Life just get in the way.   


Copyright 2012 Elizabeth Abrams Chapman