Showing posts with label Satire. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Satire. Show all posts

Thursday, October 10, 2024

"Punch Line"

           I have a sense of humor. Sometimes the serious aspects of life take over, and it’s the warped humor rippling through my veins that keeps me sane. My friends and family have learned not to tell jokes if I’m drinking or eating. Nothing burns like Coke squirting out the nose! I’ll roll helplessly on the couch weeping copiously at The Ghostbusters. I love puns, satires, riddles, and even knock-knock jokes.

          I have a sense of humor, and I cannot tell a joke.
          It’s a horrible thing to admit. I admire those people who can memorize and recite long passages from poetry or plays. I have in-laws who watch a movie once and replay dialogue word-for-word. I’m lucky if I can remember the title once I’ve left the theater! Jokes? They seem so simple. A few lines, the right intonation, and then the punch line. No matter how much I try to remember it all, it gets jumbled and botched.
          My mother always told me to leave the house with a little extra time and money. But I arm myself with my joke, too. Over the years, I’ve managed to refine the telling of one specific joke. I carry it prepared in case I’m in a social situation where a joke becomes necessary. “Better safe than sorry” really describes my up-bringing.


The Joke

Several teachers were driving between Austin and San Antonio one day when they saw the sign for the town Buda. They began arguing about how to pronounce the town’s name. One person insisted the pronunciation was “Booda”. The other claimed it rhymed with “You da.” Finally, the driver in the car decided to settle the argument. She pulled into the local Dairy Queen and drove up to the take-out window.
           “Excuse me,” she said politely when the young girl asked for her order. “I need to ask you, how do you pronounce the name of this place?”
           The girl looked puzzled for a moment, and then she said very slowly and distinctly, “Dare—ree—Queeeen!”



Copyright 2011 Elizabeth Abrams Chapman

Saturday, March 24, 2012

"Guest Poet!"



 When my friend, Michelle Baksic-Hargett dangled a poetry challenge before me, I couldn't resist. I have a list of about thirty possible topics for future blog posts. Michelle randomly select six of the topics:  Trap, Mama Bear, Photography, Favoritism, Geeks-R-Us, Ironing. I've posted the poems I generated from these topics. For today, I'm welcoming Michelle Baksic-Hargett as my guest poet!      







“Geeks-R-Us”

Word games, puns, an oxymoron or Scrabble,   
Foreign phrases or lighthearted Pig Latin babble,   
Science Fiction, Satire, Non-Fiction Drama,   
They all appeal to the literary momma!   
Alice and Star Trek let us think higher,   
For a deeper look, they do require.   
To catch their meanings one must be 
Skilled in recognizing analogies.  
I love to write poetry in my free time;   
Contemplate thoughts and drop a rhyme,   
Or collaborate with colleagues colloquially.   
It really is not very difficult to see   
That I have quite a bit of geek in me.   


Copyrigth 2012 Michelle Baksic-Hargett     





“Trapped”  


Blind-sided from in front of my face   
Trust misplaced ended in disgrace   
Self-destruct or pick up the pace   
Become numb it is my saving grace   
Stay moving fast for when I cease   
I am given no chance for peace   
All time stood still    
As he moved in for the kill   
Late reaction told me to run   
This game was his idea of fun   
Bait and switch with Jekyll and Hyde   
Couldn’t breathe to react, no time to decide   
Between fight and flight—   
I’m only dead on the inside   


 Copyright 2012 Michelle Baksic-Hargett   

















“Photography”   


    The smile of a child, a soft flower as it bends 
Are captured innocently from behind the lens   
Peaches and pink candy comprise the sunrise   
Colorfully consuming the expansive new sky   
Forever the keeper of dawn’s early light   
One snap! I’ve caught the beauty of the sight   
In front of the lens, things are honest and real   
Aborigines believe your soul this can steal   
Lighting and subject form the perfect embrace   
Leaving the dance without mark or disgrace   
Just simple and perfect by God’s pure design   
Photography captures the moment in time   
   
  
Copyright 2012 Michelle Baksic-Hargett   



"Mother Daughter Relationships" 
We didn’t ever see eye to eye   
But that doesn’t mean I didn’t try   
My very best to make you proud   
But I was always too messy or to loud   
Too opinionated, uncensored and full of fire   
You saw it as rebellious—I saw it as desire   
So I studied harder and made the grade   
Got through college, and made my way   
Followed your life playbook to the tee  
But it didn’t seem to matter, you didn’t see   
I had my BA and my MRS under my belt   
But the pressure was there, like a vise, I felt   
Because our relationship was still not strong   
So I gave you grandchildren—the perfect pair   
And that won me favor for a while there     
I moved 2000 miles to be closer to you   
And things improved, as they sometimes do   
But when I failed to cook and dress   
For my husband you were not impressed   
“Maintain the 50’s housewife image my dear  
Your husband needs perfection. Is that clear?”   
Once again I failed and that’s how it goes,   
Now my divorce is just another woe   
Oh, what a disappointment I must be!   
Single parent stigma—a statistic always in need  
You’re always running to save me with great speed   
Well, I’d like to say I’m sorry, no doubt, it’s true   
But I’m sorry to me and not really to you   
Because the person I disappointed most   
Is me   

Copyright 2012 Michelle Baksic-Hargett