She silently slipped into my room
bringing night’s enveloping velvet blackness
in her sunken eyes and raven hair
Her hands reached out for mine
coaxing me to dance with her
along that icy rim of eternity
My head felt heavy upon my pillow
My arms and legs merged into my bed
immobile and leaden
Her breath poisoned the air
seeping into my lungs with molten heat
chilling my blood into a sluggish, frozen river
I turned my eyes away
staring fixedly into myself
Yet she was there
Empty and hollow
a void—nothing
and I moved toward her
even as I moved away
she whispered words I could not hear
and yet I did her bidding
sobbing for days
Until my eyes ached red and dry
and my heart bled into
itself
wracking my body with unreal pain
no one but she understood
I fought to escape
turning to flee
with nowhere to go
She stood before me, beside me, behind me
within me
Then I heard
faint and distant
a trill of laughter
bubbling and rippling through the starless night
an intermingling of voices
high and low—calling my name
giving me direction
away, away
I pulled myself away from her deathly dance
Yanked myself out of her clutching grasp
moved toward the golden sounds
of love and light
She followed me
she stayed with me
now and forever
I sense her presence
know the sound of her footfall
instinctively sniff the air for her scent
careful and cautious
She still wants me
her pull and determination both suck me into her orbit
and repel me with horror
But those voices of laughter
with the eyes of sunlight
and smiling mouths of delight
carry a stronger current
They always rescue me
Take me where she cannot reach me
protect me for a little while
. . . love me
Copyright 1999 Elizabeth Abrams Chapman
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