Thursday, April 9, 2020

"Death"












She silently slipped into my room
            bringing night’s enveloping velvet blackness
                        in her sunken eyes and raven hair
Her hands reached out for mine
            coaxing me to dance with her
                        along that icy rim of eternity
My head felt heavy upon my pillow
            My arms and legs merged into my bed
                        immobile and leaden
Her breath poisoned the air
            seeping into my lungs with molten heat
                        chilling my blood into a sluggish, frozen river
I turned my eyes away
            staring fixedly into myself
                        Yet she was there
                        Empty and hollow
                        a void—nothing
            and I moved toward her
            even as I moved away
she whispered words I could not hear
            and yet I did her bidding
sobbing for days
            Until my eyes ached red and dry
            and my heart bled into
                        itself
            wracking my body with unreal pain
                        no one but she understood
I fought to escape
            turning to flee
                        with nowhere to go
She stood before me, beside me, behind me
                        within me
Then I heard
            faint and distant
                        a trill of laughter
                                bubbling and rippling through the starless night
            an intermingling of voices
                        high and low—calling my name
                                    giving me direction
                                                away, away
I pulled myself away from her deathly dance
            Yanked myself out of her clutching grasp
                        moved toward the golden sounds
                                    of love and light
She followed me
            she stayed with me
                        now and forever
I sense her presence
know the sound of her footfall
            instinctively sniff the air for her scent
                        careful and cautious
She still wants me
            her pull and determination both suck me into her orbit
                        and repel me with horror
            But those voices of laughter
                        with the eyes of sunlight
                                    and smiling mouths of delight
                        carry a stronger current
They always rescue me
Take me where she cannot reach me
            protect me for a little while
                         . . . love me

Copyright 1999 Elizabeth Abrams Chapman



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