I never intended to
write about death and dying. I thought this topic could stay bound within the
contexts of the current social psychological theorists, but recently I’ve found
myself examining my feelings in dealing with my mother’s terminal illness.
I studied Kübler-Ross’s
theory, of course, when I worked on my degree in Psychology. Effortlessly, I
can recount her five stages of grief. My life over the last few years
anecdotally supports much of what she wrote. I know, too, about theories on
resilience. Although I haven’t consciously researched the topic of grief, I’ve
definitely lived it. As I skim the endless variety of topics available to
families dealing with Huntington’s disease, dealing with the last stages of
this disorder surfaces in discussions.
My faith rests totally in the strength of the
human mind, the spirit of community, the cycle of life. Whenever living with
Mom’s Huntington’s disease pulls me under, I’ve reached out to my husband, my
son, my sister, and my brother. They yank me back into the light when I feel
surrounded by darkness. I have several friends, some in distant cities, who
offer comfort and support through their kindness and concern.
And so we deal with dying like we deal with
living. We admit our shortcomings during those endless nights and horrendous
days. We don’t deny our anger and bitterness as illness chips away Mom in
larger and larger chunks. We let sorrow enter our home and sit upon the sofa on
Saturday mornings.
We take
each day as it comes. We linger over the good moments. We sip and savor giggles
and smiles. Words like sacrifice, care, generosity, family and love take on
deeper and more honest meanings as they become part of our daily life.
Copyright 2012 Elizabeth Abrams Chapman
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