Do you ever have those days where your heart feels cranky? Where every attempt at a smile distorts into a scowl or a twisted Joker grin? Where you filter every nice word or act of kindness from another person through a stinky film of cynicism, and the end result is FUNK?
My mood has snapped and snarled at all living beings for the past twenty-four hours, and I have absolutely no excuse for my foul behavior. I survived the last three years of my teaching career mired in the worst situations public schools offer. The parents and students ran the school while a parade of administrators attempted “rescue” and left in shameful defeat, and the faculty clung together in defiant unity. I had plenty of reasons to go into work grumpy. I had plenty of reasons for staying cranky as I blew my ever trusty whistle into the faces of little tyrannical shits (a behavior foreign to me a few years earlier). But now?
Within the framework of my mother’s schedule, I can manipulate my own chores. Some days, I schlump around in my nightgown until noon! Although my most recent draft of my novel sits untouched on my desk, I do manage to scribble a few lines here and there in my spiral notebook, or I slip into my bedroom to type a paragraph. Occasionally, I email a letter to a friend, or take a few moments to read my favorite blogs, or get coins in one of my games. Although I don’t get to leave the house for several days on end, and I don’t get to read like I used to, I have discovered many movies and television shows that I never watched in the past because I didn’t have the time.
The monotony of my days just cannot explain the level of crabbiness I feel, so I lay blame on the full moon, the pull of the tides, or the unseen ripple in the space-time continuum. Some days, I just can’t muster the energy to play nice. The good thing about falling into a bad mood for no reason? The mood will lift just as easily and inexplicably as it descended.
Copyright 2011 Elizabeth Abrams Chapman