Thursday, March 14, 2013

“Classy Classrooms?”



            My adventures as a substitute teacher mean I find myself visiting many different schools and spending my days slipping into someone’s personal space for eight hours at a time. I can’t help but notice the different atmospheres teachers create within their cinderblock walls.
            When I taught, my classroom became an extension of my personal taste. I usually had a corner designated for reading. For many years, a small couch with a pole lamp squatted in one area next to bookcases loaded with my favorites. Atop these shelves I’d place philodendrons in jugs of water, pictures of my son and pets, and sometimes fresh cut flowers to brighten the room. I always loaded a huge wicker laundry hamper with an assortment of pillows for Pillow Days. If my classes behaved, on Pillow Days, the students could grab their favorite cushion from the pile, retreat under desks, to the couch, or to a private place in the room, and read or write without the constraints of iron-hard chairs and desks. Whether I taught seniors or seventh graders, having days to stretch out with a pillow and a pencil or book became a special treat. Some days, I’d add to the atmosphere by having a “fireplace” by putting orange paper over the overhead projector to cast a warm glow into the room.
 
            As a substitute, I’ve learned that not all teachers spend as much time or energy on their classrooms as I did, and I have definitely noted the difference between male and female teachers. If I enter a man’s classroom, I find very little personal items on display. Some may have a photograph or two back by their desks, tucked in next to their computers, of their wives, children or pets. Some may even hang their diplomas along one wall. However, the classroom décor ends there. The posters, if any are on the walls, demonstrate functionality—equations or formulas, copies of historical documents, or a list of literary terms and definitions. My recent encounters with these male educators still have more in their rooms than my first department chair. His sparse room contained absolutely no posters except for a leggy pose of Jennifer Beals from Flashdance.
            Women educators utilize their classrooms as an extension of their personal taste. Instead of one or two personal pictures tucked discretely on a corner of their desks, they plaster photographs down entire file cabinets—attached to the metal furniture with frog magnets (or flowers, pigs, roadrunners, shoes—whatever fancy catches the woman’s attention and displays her passions). Personal furniture crams into the room, too. Women teachers tend to have bookcases and brightly painted hutches along a wall. Their cinderblock barely peaks out from behind a multitude of posters—some professionally printed, others work from current or past students. Nick-knacks clutter these women’s desktops and spill onto any open surface. Tape dispensers, staplers, little storage boxes—all color or theme coordinated!
            I doubt decorating a classroom impacts student learning directly. Studies probably show little correlation between the posters displayed in a room (or lack thereof) and student performance. However, I believe that the more “at home” a teacher feels within his or her space, the more that educator will enjoy the time spent in the classroom. Whether the utilitarian and uncluttered, streamline masculine décor or the colorful embellishments of the feminine influence, if an educator’s classroom becomes an extension of personality, everyone benefits.   
 
Copyright 2013 Elizabeth Abrams Chapman
           

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

“Burying Dead Bodies”



             My warped mind exercises itself by plotting murders.
            I’ve burned, poisoned, bludgeoned, and strangled. I’ve “run through with a sword” and run over with a car. I’ve frozen and thawed. I’ve sliced-n-diced.
            I don’t know when playing these mind games started, and I’m glad my sociopathic side stays strongly secure within make-believe.
            Imagine my pleasure when I stumbled upon the knowledge that iPhone’s Siri recites a list of where to hide dead bodies! I delighted in learning that someone “out there” thinks in the same murky waters that I find my own mind trolling.
            Siri’s list contains, however, the obvious places:  reservoirs, metal foundries, mines, dumps, and swamps. So I’m spending my downtime during spring break generating a new and unique list of disposal of my victims.
            Of course, I definitely won’t share this list with my readers. Because, you know—I may need to use it one day!

Copyright 2013 Elizabeth Abrams Chapman



 

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

"The Missing Sock"

When I take dirty clothes into the laundry room, I try to make certain every item makes it from the bathroom to the hamper. When I sort the clothes into their designated piles, sometimes I pair the socks as a double check that each duo goes into the wash together. My laundry room, a petite rectangular four by eleven, cannot provide hiding places for anything. Yet . . . at least once a month a sock vanishes. I’ll shift the hamper out of its tight nook, slide a hanger between the washer and the wall, remove the vacuum and the mops, and scour the tiny room with vigilance in search of a missing sock. I’ll retrace my steps from laundry room through the kitchen, retreating to the master bathroom with eagle eyes peering into corners and under the bed. I’ll check the dogs’ toy basket in case Koi kidnapped a sock from the pile. Nothing. I keep the unmatched sock in the clean clothes basket in the belief that its partner will miraculously reappear during the darkness of night. After another week, the lonely sock gets placed in my drawer, sitting in neglected isolation.
             The hide-n-seek game with the missing sock may continue for several weeks. Yesterday, I stripped my mother’s bedding and shook out the fitted sheet of the clean set. A black sock soared through the air and landed on her dresser, knocking over her Chantilly in playful abandon. I immediately scooped up the wayward footwear and placed it in my pocket with a victorious grin. I felt satisfaction as I reunited the lonely sock tucked in my drawer with its partner. A quick inspection revealed that only one more sock sat segregated from the other sets. Prior experience made me pragmatically predict that days may pass before the wayward companion surfaced. However, yesterday turned out lucky for me. The last missing sock nestled in the arm of one of my mother’s nightgowns. Imagine her surprise when she pushed her hand through the sleeve and captured a sock in her hand!
            I feel smug satisfaction in knowing that when I go to bed tonight, every sock in every drawer nestles closely with its mate.

Copyright 2012 Elizabeth Abrams Chapman









Monday, March 4, 2013

"A Rusted Tub"


The Burren Perfumery, County Clare, Ireland--September 2010

         The Burren Perfumery snuggles at the end of a winding road used more by cattle than cars. Even at the end of the flowering season, its gardens hold delightful surprises for the idle traveler. Somehow, among the endless expanse of rock, nature takes root with riotous blossoms, feathery ferns, and ivy clinging to mortar and bark.   

          A narrow footpath takes the wanderer into sunshine standing shoulder high. To the right, the soft morning shadows shelter fern precariously clinging to stone.


           Meandering leads to an old rusted bathtub filled with blossoms and promises. I wonder about bathing in flowers and moonbeams in this mystical land.



Copyright 2012 Elizabeth Abrams Chapman

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

“Don’t Tickle the Dragon”



The Dragon Slayer by David Chapman

She soars above river and ravine in magnificence
while despair and fear play hide-n-seek with her smoky shadow.
With penetrating eyes, she seeks and destroys all defiance.
She melts lives with fiery breath and renders fair fields fallow.
Her arbitrary death paralyzes her innocent prey
by syphoning hope from their simple souls one-drop-at-a-time.
Her teeth and claws razor flesh leaving misery and dismay
As she devours their life-blood—without reason, without rhyme.
On bended knee, mankind prays to the ancient gods for relief
And many brave souls with sword and shield challenge her to the death.
Enflamed by anger, she slays them all—fueled on by pagan belief.
All hope becomes lost to young and old—all fear her scorching breath.
Offerings of their children temporarily satiate her greed,
‘til the young princess stands by lakeside awaiting destiny.
A Christian knight from lands unknown approaches on steady steed.
He vows to slay the beast if all pledge to Christianity.
His lance pierces the dragon’s thick hide with a near fatal blow;
with the princess’s girdle, he leads the creature from the lake.
With Ascalon, he impales the dragon—watches her blood flow.
The people cheer, the king sings praise, and an alter he does make.
From the alter spouts water pure, curing all ailments that grow.
The villagers gather ‘round each eve to dance and sing again
of lessons learned from valley to peak that all children should know—
“Don’t play with fire. Don’t pee in the wind. Don’t tickle the dragon!”



Copyright 2013 Elizabeth Abrams Chapman