Friday, May 4, 2012

“Another Round of Up and Down”



         Huntington’s Disease impacts people differently. The more I read, the more I realize that this disease affected Mom much earlier than I’d first thought. For many years, she complained about having “Blue Days.”  Never bad enough or frequent enough to seek treatment, Mom would call sometimes near tears. These lonely days would end quickly, and I internalized the lesson that mild depression “just happens” and you weather through it. Looking back, I believe these downturns may have signaled the early changes HD brings into a person’s life.
         By the time my mother was in her sixties, she began complaining about never going anywhere or doing anything. My father would plan some kind of activity or outing, and my mother would shoot the idea down for some nebulous reason. Dad’s frustration resulted in him giving up on suggesting things they could do together, and Mom grumbled even more about being stuck at home. When they bought the land in the Hill Country, Mom’s enthusiasm returned. She loved planning and tackling each project for the cabin.
         Around this time, her first motor symptoms emerged. While she watched television or sat in the car, Mom would shuffle her feet restlessly. I asked her many times if she could stop, and she’d reply, “Of course. I’m just exercising my legs and ankles.” Then she’d rotate her feet around deliberately for a moment or two and settle down. Sometimes, Mom would suffer from bouts of anxiety. These spells of worry didn’t last long, and again she never even mentioned them to her doctor.
         After my father died, Mom moved to San Antonio and took her own apartment about a mile from our house. She would walk over some mornings and spend the day. She didn’t like driving, though, and began saying that she felt like her perception was “off" when driving. Gradually, other signs of HD surfaced. Mom complained about being “askew” and off balanced. Several times her leg would simply fold beneath her. She went to the doctors about these symptoms, but no one knew exactly what was happening. One neurologist suggested genetic testing because Friedrich’s Ataxia had already been documented in her family (her niece had the disease). He felt it was possible Mom was a carrier and expressing the gene for some reason as she aged. At that point, Mom decided she didn’t really want to know.
         Eventually, a very slight stroke kicked Mom’s HD into temporary overdrive. A young lieutenant at BAMC made the diagnosis when she witnessed Mom’s movements. This physical therapist had worked with an HD family in her short career. The neurologist handling Mom vanished with her for over an hour and came back stating that he really didn’t think she had HD, but he suggested we do the genetic testing anyway. Mom went to a rehab facility to work on her motor skills, but her balance never fully returned. The physical therapists and doctors suggested she “furniture walk” when in her small apartment and use a walker whenever she went anywhere.
         Of course, the genetic testing showed that Mom is a carrier for Friedreich’s Ataxia, that she has 40 CAG repeats, and that there is a third defect on another gene that has unknown impact. This diagnosis, made five years ago, gave us labels. Now we could help Mom make knowledgeable decisions and prepare for her future.
         Over the last five years, HD's neurodegenerative course has touched every aspect of our lives. Mom’s gone from living independently in her own apartment, to an assisted living facility, to our home. Her ability to walk a mile has vanished. She can only take two or three steps with assistance. Her infrequent “Blue Days” gave way to daily battles with depression that medications attempt to control. If she’s gotten enough rest, her personality remains the same gentle, intelligent woman she’s always been. However, insomnia strikes at least once a week, and during those endless nights she morphs into Mr. Hyde. Her usually sharp intellect muddles into confusion.
Edna Abrams
St. Patrick's Day 2012
age 82
         The care Mom needs now involves twenty-four hour a day, seven days a week aid. Fortunately, she can still use her hands and arms for eating, but we must do everything else for her. She needs help moving into and out of her wheelchair, which we must push. In recent weeks, Mom’s developed a need to “pace.” She will start in her bedroom, request that we take her to the family room. Within fifteen minutes, she’ll want to go back to her bedroom. This up and down routine continues for hour after hour. By the end of the day, her legs barely move at all, becoming rigid sticks. Mom cries because she cannot stop this compulsion to go from room to room. On these days, she’s certain that she’s dying and wants me to call her doctor to see if there’s something that he can give her.
         This new symptom, the compulsion to go back and forth from room to room, lasts only one very, very long day. By the next day, Mom settles into her usual routine.  Next month, she sees her internist for her six month check-up. If this new behavior increases in frequency, we’ll ask if there’s some medication that may curb the obsessive-compulsive urgency. Her next appointment with her neurologist isn’t until September, but we can always give him a call to see if any of her current medications need adjustment.


Every time a change occurs, I am forced to accept that HD will win in the end.

Copyright 2012 Elizabeth Abrams Chapman

Thursday, May 3, 2012

“Holding Pattern”




The final destination’s in sight   
            twinkling lights welcome   
            offer guidance and hope   
Suddenly turbulence     
            rolls over us   
            wind shear threatens our course   


Circle around, around, around   

Running low on fuel   
            ready to crash   
            ready  to burn   
Stuck in a holding pattern   
            waiting for answers   
            waiting for options   


Finally diverted to another port   
            an unexpected paradise  
            with exceptional surprises   

Copyright 2012 Elizabeth Abrams Chapman

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

“Too Many Words”




My mind swirls    
words jumble and jive    
to a silent rhythm    
bebopbebopbebopbebopbebop   
ramming together   
My thoughts inseparable    
a tangled mess of “what if”    
knotted    
I tug at one end    
unravel    
into chaos and clutter    
cosmic dust bouncing     
here-and-there    
random    
like Sheldon Cooper on coffee    






Copyright 2012 Elizabeth Abrams Chapman

















        

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

"A Rubik's Cube"

Life is a Rubik’s Cube   
where we devote our days   
creating solid planes   
white, blue, red, orange   
twisting and turning to simplify   
to green   
mellowing into yellow   

Life is a Rubik’s Cube   
a 3-D puzzle   
where one solution     
temporarily disrupts another   
jumbling events   
we figure     
we calculate   
we design strategy and apply logic   
we manipulate the interconnected pieces   
focused on the goal   

Life is a Rubik’s Cube   
once solved—   
displayed with pride  
until it teases Fate  
who picks up the puzzle   
and scrambles the pieces once again   


Copyright 2012 Elizabeth Abrams Chapman

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

“Processing . . . Processing . . . Processing”



         Sometimes decisions and choices made by complete strangers have an unexpectedly powerful impact upon your life. When we realized Mom’s Huntington’s Disease symptoms were worsening, we knew we’d have move her into our home where she could get the eventual 24/7 care she needs. My son, who lived with us at the time since he’s studying to be an audio engineer/producer, came to me one evening after Mom’d had a particularly rough couple of weeks at her assisted living facility.
         “I think we need to move Grammy here. Maybe we can find a house for me to rent in the neighborhood. That way I could still help.”
         With that suggestion, we began a search for a nice rental home. It didn’t take us but a few days of searching to realize that homes in our neighborhood rent almost as soon as the sign’s in the yard. We stumbled upon one really nice house, called the realtor, and met with her to do a walk-though. As David and Paul meandered through the house, another couple pulled into the driveway and asked me if the house was for rent.
         “No. We just rented it.” And we did.

         That happened eighteen months ago. We’ve found our rhythm and routines. The house, walking distance from our own, gave me the security of mind to know that Paul’s minutes away in case of an emergency. To save on money, we cancelled the storage unit we’ve rented for years and moved everything into Paul’s gigantic garage. One friend gave Paul two of her old couches. Someone loaned him a table with four chairs. Paul used the extra space to add to his instrument collection. He used the extra privacy to study, study, study.
         One day last week, the realtor contacted us about doing a walk-through on the house and mentioned in her email that the owners wanted to see if we’d be interested in purchasing the house. She said that they had selling the house “on their radar.” We didn’t worry too much since this house has been a rental for ten years. The California owners have three other homes in San Antonio that they use for income. We figured they may have thought that there was a possibility that we’d want to buy a home for our son. Since Paul may not even stay in Texas once he finishes his studies, we’d never make that kind of financial commitment.
         On Thursday evening, we met with the realtor and learned that the owners definitely want to sell the house. As the realtor talked, it became obvious that they hoped Paul would continue to rent the house, keep up the lawn and gardens for them, and then move out with a thirty-day notice if they find a buyer. Plus be available during house showings because they didn’t want to be responsible for anything getting stolen. I think my jaw hit the ground!
         Once the realtor left, we decided to discuss our options over La Fonda chips and salsa. Paul suggested that he move back home. He thought we could convert a couple of smaller rooms into rooms where he can practice recording drums and other instruments if we added enough sound absorbing materials. We spent one day traipsing from music store to music store speaking to other musicians and engineers on what they’d done in their own homes. Everyone attacked the problem in totally different ways. We quickly realized that nothing could be done in advance. We’d have to modify the rooms once the equipment was moved into place. Our next thought, of course, was whether Paul’s large studio desk and Roland drum kit could fit into the tighter space. We knew he could move back into the old office he used before he moved away, but that room shares a wall with Mom’s room.
         Pulling out a tape measure quickly told us that the smaller rooms wouldn’t accommodate Paul’s current set-up. Too small! We decided to go online to check for homes for rent. Saturday, we rushed from place to place, narrowed down the choices on the ones we liked, and put calls into more realtors—rented, rented, rented!
         Over Greek food, Paul offered an easy solution. We could rent two storage units to handle all the “overflow” items, and move him back into our house temporarily. He’d go back into his old office but rely upon good earphones to do most of his work at night. He can shift to the Roland and not set up his acoustic kit. He’ll study different aspects of music and production for a couple of months while we try to find another place. This would let us all slow down to make better choices. Also, it would mean saving a couple of months of rent money!
         Living at home means huge sacrifices for Paul. With my mother starting her “wind-down” routine at four-ish every day, having friends over in the evenings, or having people spend the night or weekend won’t happen. Escaping to the gym three nights a week may help, and Paul’s certain he’ll readjust to living with us quickly enough.
         All of the data collecting of the last four days led to a decision with advantages for all of us. For now, I have daily goals of packing, rearranging, sorting, and donating. It won’t take any time to get the house ready for him. Once Paul returns home, we’ll take it one day at a time. And often that’s the best way to live.      

 Copyright 2012 Elizabeth Abrams Chapman