"Setting Goals"

Today’s “To Do” list:

1. promote blog, novel, and t-shirt designs

2. work full day with second graders (no lesson plans or instructions left, but other grade level teachers pulled rabbits out of their hats with plenty of activities for me)

3. run errands with husband and son

4. do both cardio and weights at the gym

5. grab dinner

6. write new blog post, promote t-shirt designs, and plug  novel

7.  fall into bed (in satisfied exhaustion)

Sometimes, I hate to think about what my life would be like if I’d never retired to care for Mom. I know The Golden Bracelet would only exist in the back of my mind. I don’t believe I would’ve started my blog, Swing in a Tree. The isolated role of caregiver forced me into a creative format to connect to the world around me. My recent foray into t-shirt design spawned from a desire to share my photography to a wider audience than my Facebook, Twitter, and blog followers. I want to experiment with another income that comes from my interests and talents instead of continuing to embed myself within the public educational system.

As I move into my sixties, having health problems appear inevitable. I’ve changed everything I eat during the last nine months. My energy levels soared! A few months ago, I added cardio and weights into my life again. I haven’t worked my exercise routine into a habit that I miss when I skip, but by this summer I may reach that goal.

For me, setting new goals means I’m continuing to grow and change. A constant worry that I always carry in the back of my mind is that I could still have Huntington’s disease. My mother’s late onset means I might possibly have a few years of being symptom free. I scrutinize every mood swing. I evaluate my fatigue at the end of a long work day. I fret if I sense myself dragging my feet about a new project or learning a new skill. These changes were Mom’s first: anxiety, mild depression, lethargy, loss of interest hobbies.

The challenges added into my life, and onto my “To Do” list, give me balance and hope.

Copyright 2019 Elizabeth Abrams Chapman

"Deer in the Headlight"

            Defiantly, her eyes locked with mine. Not a ripple of concern in her stance or glance as she faced me while my heart shifted to a faster syncopation. My headlights mirrored from her pupils for a second before she dismissed me. Casually, she crossed the road with the confidence that no harm would befall her.

            My foot, stamped to the brake, eased off to crawl my car forward. The predawn shadows complicated my search of the path from which the doe had unexpectedly emerged. No fawns follower her, and I cruised up to 20 MPH.

            As I rounded the corner, our small neighborhood herd waited in edgy anticipation by its morning feeding spot. Daily, an elderly retired man dumped buckets of dried corn from the back of his pickup truck. In long ago conversation, he’d told me that he needed to know someone counted on him being somewhere each day. With his wife’s death, his retirement had turned to unexpected loneliness that he filled by caring for these deer. This morning five deer awaited his arrival.

            My thoughts drifted from the doe to an old man’s loneliness as I edged onward into my day.

Copyright 2019 Elizabeth Abrams Chapman

"Laundry"

one pile expands in the bedroom

a second blocks the hallway’s path

a third’s stuffed into a hamper

another explodes in our bath

mutating exponentially

as every day passes by

an alien infiltration

makes all our clothing multiply

on Saturday mornings I climb

over mountainous stinky stacks

by shifting and swiftly sorting

they yield to my vicious attacks

whites swirl into boiling water

while colors churn in icy cold

then they tumble in fluffy air

once dried, each gets a tidy fold

the end of a tedious day

finds every item in its place

fatigue anchors me to the couch

where I know I’ve won the race

 . . . until next week!

Copyright 2019 Elizabeth Abrams Chapman 

“Positive Energy”

                Technology brings us possibilities. I sit at a keyboard, blank page before me, and write down my thoughts and beliefs knowing that I will transmit my ideas around the world with one click. What will I say? Who will I reach? What impact will I have?

                The wall technology builds between us allows invisibility. Through this anonymous distance, I can wound. I can easily divide humanity into otherness. Will I denigrate? Put down and pull apart? Can I spew out cruelty? Chip away and minimize the hopes and dreams of another?     

                Or will I stay true to my inner core? Can I thrive by crafting kindness? Can I blossom because I grow towards gentleness and grace? Every day I deliberately decide to nurture and nourish. I hone down my words to a spiritual force of positive

energy.

 Copyright 2019 Elizabeth Abrams Chapman

  

                 

"Making Change"

            Over the last few months, several older friends unexpectedly fell into life changes due to medical issues. Nothing life threatening, but still a diagnosis that meant change must come sooner, rather than later, into their routines.

            One of the main changes dealt with whether or not they could continue to work. A necessary knee or hip replacement turned into hours of physical therapy after the surgery. For a couple of friends, the promised “cure” from the procedure didn’t result in anything more than a little less pain. Their range of motion remained less. Plus, no one talked about the fact that after a certain age one’s overall stamina and energy don’t return to the same pre-surgery level. The promise that things would be “as good as new” simply didn’t hold up. For these friends, a loss of income coupled with extraordinarily high medical bills meant they now ride on a roller coaster of anxiety.

            For me, I started counting my blessings daily. During the spring semester last year, the plague (aka allergies) knocked me down for the count. By the long, lazy days of summer, I resolved to hedge myself against another rough spring by joining my son on his lifestyle change. I dropped flour from my diet. No bread. No cereal. No cookies. No cakes. No pastas. No battered or gravy laden meats. In the process of avoiding flour, I pulled away from most processed and preserved foods. This dramatic diet change resulted in more energy. I worked more consecutive days this fall and winter than I have at any other time in the past. Was this change easy? No. Was this change necessary? Definitely.

            As I viewed friends grappling with health issues that led to their ability to work, I began wondering what would happen if I could no longer work at my post-retirement job.  What could I do to generate income if I couldn’t jump into a car and head out? I recently sat back and reflected on the things I love to do—my writing and photography topped the list. In what way could I combine these two pleasures into generating a little income that would shift me away from a total dependence upon my current occupation? My son, always a creative soul, suggested a few days ago that I could use my photography, combined with my love of words and phrases, to generated unique t-shirt designs that I could sell online.

            Today, I began another change in my life! I opened an online store called Ms. Liz Designs. (https://teespring.com/stores/ms-liz-designs)

            With my blog, I hope to share the tales of my adventures as I discover the ins-n-outs stepping out of my comfort zone and into new possibilities.

Copyright 2019 Elizabeth Abrams Chapman