“Budgets and Balance Sheets”

 

            I begin every month with taking a legal sized envelope and folding it into fourths. Each quarter gets a week’s designation, and each week receives a spending limit. I record all expenditures on the virgin exterior of the envelope—whether it be a major outflow like $142.15 for groceries or something as minor as $3.14 for a Sonic Slush. At the end of every week, I total the damage, feeling smugly triumphant if I’ve kept our spending in the green, or vowing to do better if we dip into the red. My obsession with number crunching allows us to indulge at the end of the month if anything extra remains. Most of the time, though, we simply break even. By the end of each month, the overstuffed envelope’s surface is covered with numbers and notes on spending habits. It remains in my upper desk drawer until the credit card statement arrives as a means of double checking the balance for our month’s expenses. 

            My obsession continues into my record keeping. I have ledgers dating back to those first months of our marriage where we stretched $850 a month income across apartment rent, utilities, insurance, school loans and food. The numbers may have changed over the years, but my strategy remains the same. I know exactly where every penny goes, can use one year’s budget to project into the next year, and based on one year’s spending will plan financial goals.

            I rarely set the goal of saving money just to save it. We don’t have some huge balance accruing that hasn’t been assigned an end purpose. The chunk of money accumulating in our Money Market goes to taxes on our home this month and anything left over will stay in place for April’s income taxes and work on the car. All of the budgeting and balance sheets pays off in the long run. We work together as a family to reach very specific spending goals. By watching the outflow carefully, we’ve plugged up leaks and pooled funds into building a secure future.

            Sometimes I wonder if I’d hold onto the monthly envelope and colorful ledgers if our income ever rose. Would I stop tracking that dollar spent here? Or that five spent over there? Then I admit with chagrin that number crunching flows through my veins. It’s part of who I am, how I think. Whether I have only a teacher’s retirement income or a million dollars doesn’t matter. I’d track my spending, set my goals, and record all expenditures.

            Maybe I’d just have a larger envelope! 

 

Copyright 20214 Elizabeth Abrams Chapman

“Downsizing Christmas”

 

            My quest to simplify seeped from not putting up a Christmas tree over into decorating only the dining room table and purchasing just a few holiday gifts.

Only decorations out this year!

            My husband, son and I each picked a couple of items to put on our wish list. As I’d spent months lusting over a second camera lens, my family didn’t think twice about the perfect gift for me. My husband decided to refurbish his old Vox, and my son managed to locate companies that sold the necessary parts to make the guitar look new again. Teddy bear pendants topped my son’s list-again something unique that we found online.

            My siblings proved as easy to shop for since my sister always says, “Nothing,” when I ask her what she wants. And she means it. I will probably send something small through the mail the week after Christmas as an unexpected surprise. My brother, on the other hand, needs and appreciates everything. We often pull together a necessity box that contains items like Tide (which is so expensive), soaps of various scents, his favorite body wash and shampoo, and other household cleansers that tend to eat his grocery budget. These practical items will allow him to spend more of his budget on food. Usually, we also purchase something for my brother that he wants but won’t get for himself. Since he mentioned clothing for this year, and he has to work on Christmas day and the day after, I suggested we go out together on the 27^th on a shopping extravaganza to find the items he wants.

            I handed responsibility for my in-laws’ gifts over to my husband. In the past, I would have handled the shopping for them, but simplifying means stepping away from even this task. My husband found something easily for his sister’s home and ordered it weeks ago. He still hasn’t decided on what to do about his brothers, and stated that if he doesn’t find anything it’s not a big deal. My “old” self would want to jump in and hunt for some kind of present—even if it were a token gift; but this is an assignment for him, not me. Talk about an eye opening experience! Why didn’t I sidestep some of these duties years ago?

            I know paring back Christmas and all of its festivities and traditions won’t turn into a permanent lifestyle change. It has, however, caused me to re-examine many things I do around the holiday season and forced me to hone I on the important ones.

            What about our Christmas breakfast of Eggs Benedict and Mimosas?

            Well—some traditions are just too sacred to mess with . . .

 

Copyright 2014 Elizabeth Abrams Chapman

“Dental Floss”

Cheap dental floss    

—not the desired brand—    

            Frays    

            Leaves strands    

                        trapped    

Frustrated before sunrise    

            I fling the new container aside—    

                        thumping it into the trash    

                        announcing my irritation    

Temper flames my words,     

            “We had an entire conversation about this!”    

Feeling trivialized and minimized

            I cut to make him smaller   

And I braid those fine wax fibers 

            into Porter’s rope  

                        Giving it weight—

                                    Importance

Until 

            my snarling reflection    

            snaps me to The Big Picture 

It is—  

            after all—    

Only dental floss   

 

Copyright 2014 Elizabeth Abrams Chapman

 

                       

“Tradition? Or Rut?”

            My goal to slow down and analyze the reasons behind my actions shifted beyond focusing on my housework habits and led me to scrutinizing my holiday traditions. When September marches onto the calendar, I haul out a few fall decorations. Halloween means I adorn shelves with bats and witches, and I follow with scarecrows and gourds for Thanksgiving.

           

Today's project

The first week of December, I pack away all my russets, gold and gingers in favor of Christmas sparkles. I spend day after day unloading bins of festive décor and finding the perfect arrangement for a cluster of Santas or a herd of reindeer. Then, I tackle the tree. Most of our ornaments reside during the rest of the year in their original boxes. Removing them takes time and effort, and replacing them once the holiday season is behind us takes its own day—even if I recruit help from my husband and son. And although my family appreciates my passion to festoon garlands throughout the house, they mention it’s a ton of work that has to be “undone” within a month.

              A month ago, an unexpected freeze meant I didn’t have time to go outside and cover plants. Instead, I hauled them all inside, arranging them next to the living room window—the spot where our Christmas tree traditionally sits. I commented that I loved the greenery, but would need to lug everything back outside and rig my winter “greenhouse” once December arrived.

Hmmm . . . how do I make this into holiday décor?

            “Why?” asked my son.

            And I thought before replying. For several days I let that question linger and swirl around. Why should I relocate all of these plants to put in an artificial tree? Why should I spend days adorning it with ornaments, and then days taking it down again?

            I questioned, “Is this tradition?  Or am I in a rut?”

            For me, the decision to skip putting up the tree is huge—but when I opened my mind to other possibilities, I almost exploded with ideas. Within the cluster of green, I’ll snuggle in poinsettias and colorful bows. I’ll pick up more live plants—little pines and rosemary!

            Yesterday, my son commented, “You know, you’ve been using the same stuff for years. And I know you like all the memories that different things hold, but maybe this year you could start a new bin—with decorations that are different from everything you already have.”

Just the beginning!

            My eyes sparkled, my pulse kicked up a little, my brain zigzagged with possibilities. New decorations? And I know I won’t go out and buy something all from one place. Instead, I’ll start with a few new items and spend the entire month “growing” into the different holiday trimmings. The rush to adorn our home with gingerbread men and snowmen shifted immediately to a desire to slow down to savor creating a fresh look for the house.

 

Copyright 2014 Elizabeth Abrams Chapman

“The Second Year”

Two years  

Cramming days so full     

That exhaustion tumbles me into bed each night   

Drawing old friends into my orbit   

As I spin, spin, spin   

And throw-off grief and loss   

I pull on your fuzzy blue robe   

And snuggle into your warmth   

Comforted   

Memory lets me linger with your laughter   

Takes my hand and leads me to your crooked smile   

Tugs me out of those months of shadow and spills me into sunshine 

I speak of you, your battle, and the years of care  

Without weeping   

Softness swaddles my sadness   

Sorrow defines the second year   

 

 

 

Copyright 2014 Elizabeth Abrams Chapman